Define me a word please...

[nccountrygirl]

You ever heard the expression, Inlaws and Outlaws, Outlaws are wanted.

 

[SpottedCrow]

As long as you know what you're doing in your heart is right for you nephew, then the ''better than thou" buttheads can go pound sand.
A family should be people that love you for better or worse, share common interests, and make you feel good to be you.

You are SAVING your nephew from violence and they say that you're breaking up "the family"...so be it. Sweeping domestic violence under the carpet doesn't make it go away. I know all this junk because my family lived and thrived in the land of Denial...My mother was caught standing on a chair guzzling from my grandfather's bottle of brandy and he believed her when she told him that she was "dusting" it...
My sister and I were born on the "wrong side of the sheets" and my mother always told us that she was married in December, and even when I found her wedding invitations, she swore that they were misprinted when they said April...
I'm not going on, because I feel my blood pressure going up.

Let that side of the family go on it's merry way. You're better off without them.

 

[GAhen]

I have my side of the family...
My husband's side of the family...
and our church family.
I love them all but my church family is very special to me and none of them want me to die and go to hell.....
Find time to meditate and pray on things....search the scripture and know that God loves you.......

 

[jeaucamom]

If you have ever seen Monster in Law, you have seen my family in action. And that is not an exageration. But the bottom line is, it doesn't matter if you like your family or not. Or even if they like you or not. They are still your family no matter what. They may disown you, they may be evil, they may some day forgive you too. No matter how it works out, or how they behave or how you behave, they are your family. But... that does not define your relationship with them, it just defines your legal association with them. If your family is threatening you, then forgive them in your heart and physically protect yourself and your DH and kids and pray for them and that your relationship would be healed. Jesus died for their sins as well as yours so try not to repay evil for evil. When you go to bed at night, knowing you have blessed them and prayed for them, you will lay down with a clear concience and sleep peacefully. Maybe they really need someone to live out before them what a life of grace and peace is all about.

 

[chickbea]

Anyone who tells you that you should "die" and "burn in hell" for doing what you know is right is not someone who you should allow in your life. If I remember this case accurately, this is the guy who picked a fistfight with a child?
I don't want to sound cavalier, as I can't imagine what you are going through, but no good can come of continuing to allow these people to hurt you. It's sad but this may mean severing relationships with parts of your family.

 

[seminolewind]

If you do something with good intensions, you stick by what you do.
Good family members are not malicious, they don't try to hurt or say hurtful things on purpose. You can't pick your family but you can avoid the ones that cause you pain. They should have at least listened to you .
My mom once was malicious. She made fun of my marriage to my sister, told her I lie to protect my husband, and eventually my sister had no respect for me. To top it off, my mom's dog bit my daughter, she was 2, and she told me to take my daughter and don't ever come back.
I left saying she couldn't call herself a mother. Within hours she called and cried and said she's sorry. That was 26 years ago. She did stop saying those things. I don't think she was mentally stable at the time.
Stand by yourself first. You have to answer to you, you are most important to you, you have to put up with you 24/7. Don't take c**p from anyone.

 

[TransplantedTexan]

To me it sounds like a family who needs to get "Broken up."
Sounds like all the kids would definately be better off.
Your brother should count himself lucky that your husbands not over there knocking on his door for treating that kid that way, and talking to you in such a manor.

 

[chickbea]

I don't know if this is at all helpful, and maybe it is too late for such a measure, but exactly what line of work are you in? If you are employed in certain fields (education, social work, medicine, law enforcement, etc.), you are what is known as a "mandated reporter", meaning you are required by law to bring any suspicions of abuse to the attention of the proper authorities, regardless of your personal take on or involvement in the situation. I know that people I work with have used this "excuse" with their families when they have had to make reports against relatives. Sometimes it can help to avoid the finger-pointing.

 

[mom'sfolly]

Alleyoops,

These are not family. They are abusive people you happen to be related to. Family loves, cares, supports and nutures. Don't feel guilt about cutting yourself off from people who treat you this way. Respect is earned, and the honor and duty owed a parent do not include putting up with being treated this way. Good parents do not act as your mother has with you or your brother has with his children. At some point cutting off contact with toxic people is the only thing you can do to preserve yourself. Remember, the problem lies them not with you. Continue to support you nephew in any way you can. You can love someone and know that they are bad for you and others. I've been in this situation, and all you can do is do the best for yourself and those closest to you.


I'm so sorry this is still going on. Is your nephew in any better a situation?

Karen

 

[Chellester]

I am adopted, so I do not know any of my biological family. The only family I know is my adoptive family and my DH's family.

I consider my adoptive family my family as if I was born to them, however, when they piss me off it is very convenient to be able to say "I'm adopted."

I am very lucky that all my DH's family is very easy to get along with except for one brother and his wife, but they live out of state so we don't have to see them much anyway.

If ANY of my family treated me that way, I would disown those family members. End of story.