deleted

[MissPrissy]

When I ask for help my husband also takes over the project and it becomes his. I do understand your frustrations. It is just par for the course with most men though. Try to find the good things in his help and try not to be angry with him. He really is trying to do something good for you and the chickens.

I would be jumping up and down and clapping my hands if my DH went out on his own and built me something so my chickens, geese, ducks, turkeys and guineas are living the sweet life in secure, structurally sound houses and run without me having to ask for it.

You are very lucky he wants to help you. I know some women on this forum that would give their eye teeth for that kind of help.

 

[wayfastwhitey]

pdsavage wrote ......"i talked to him like we are suppose to talk to men"
can you tell me just how this is done? as a man I really want to know ....lol maybe my wifey as 33 years has used this womanly chram on me before and i didnt even know it !
dumb man in texas

PS: 2 wrongs is not going to make it right .... dont go messin around in his shop!
sorry your h'band didnt/wont leson to you , might try talking to him about things in the evening (after dinner or even at bed time )
and tell him HOW MUCH this would mean to you to do it all yourself , plus ya might tell him if he really wants to help you .....do the dinner dishs with you
being married is a 50/50 deal. we all need alot help sometimes
my 2 cents and no im not a doctor... but i did stay in a hoilday inn last night !

 

[Guitartists]

Quote:
Hahaha! We use that Holiday Inn line all the time... hehehehe Funny to know others do too!

 

[rebecca10782]

Quote:
LOL thats funny my dad is the same way, even if you know how to do a certain task, if he is working with you he will explain it all the way through. He would drive me insaaaane when helping my with my math homework. He refuses to ask for directions too, I always thought that was a joke.

 

[rebecca10782]

Quote:
I completely agree with you guys but come on theres no way we would ever get along without them. I was hurt severly by the last guy I dated, I was depressed for like a year and a half. I told myself I will never be interested in another guy again if its going to risk getting hurt like that again. Then I'm at work and the new bartender walks in (goregous) , my brain is telling me "this guy is going to ripe your heart out and stomp on it". I am proud of myself though, he asked me out and I said no. But man!

I have never felt that kind of attraction before. Im sure I sound very shallow which I am not but we have all gone through this before yes?

 

[lilshadow]

I can understand your frustration, but I have it lucky. I told my dh that I wanted to make my own nest boxes, so he gave me lessons on operating all of his tools. He said that I couldn't make them until I learned about his table saw's and all the other saws he uses. Even though he watched closely and cringed a couple of times he let me do it. He only helps if I ask for it. I have to admit though, if it weren't for him. My coops would not be getting done. However, I have been watching closely, and I am going to build my bf a samll coop for her chicks.

 

[southernsibe]

I'm lucky with this. My dh tells me, routinely, that he will "build" it and I will "make it liveable." This changed, because he used to say, he would build it and I could make it pretty.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Why not write a letter to your husband telling you how you feel? Then sit down and have a healthy discussion with him about boundaries. (There's a good book, "Boundaries in Marriage," that you might be interested in...)

It's good that you can come here to vent about this, but it won't solve the problem, and I know you'll be happier if you can take this one step further by getting it solved.

 

[lurky]

Quote:
I agree with Katy. My chickens have a VERY safe, solid, heated and insulated coop because my husband build it. I prefer a safe home. I think a home for the chickens is a project that needs to be done right. a crappy door could mean you finding your chickens all killed. I think if you want to claim a job as yours.....maybe a smaller job would be better where your abilities will be enough. I thank god for my husband following me around to fix everything i am not qualified to do right