Wow, I know completely how stressed out you both must be. The construction of our house was a complete disaster. It was so bad I have given serious thought to writing a book.
Anyway, it sounds like you and DH are starting to work it out. There is no way to "hide" stuff from inspectors any more. Whatever people say about it is irrelevant, they axist for a reason and you can get into serious trouble if you try to go around them.
In our neighborhood a woman built a huge barn on the back of her property. Apparently, she never got the building permit. She allegedly told the contractor she had taken care of it.
Several months after it was completed the neighbor sold their house and the new owners had their land surveyed. Her barn was on her property, but it was too close to the boundary line.
She was forced to tear the entire structure down.
The new neighbors had not intended any harm to her, they were just looking to put up a fence.
When our house was done, the township, the bank, and the insurance company all inspected it before signing off.