Did I provoke my neighbor into this?

[speckledhen]

Quote:
Absolutely not! That is no way to deal with this, folks. She has received lots of advice here, but at the moment, they both need to cool off so there should be a period when neither says anything to the other, or she ignores him when he spouts off. I don't think Jennie would post his email, but I'm asking that she definitely NOT do that!

 

[Javamama]

Jennie,

, I'm not picking on you here, but the new info you posted really changed my mind about the situation. I wouldn't know what to say in this instance, other than know the laws where you live.

 

[insiderart]

Here's my .02, not that you need it.

Other people do not upset us, we let ourselves be upset by other people. I hope this makes sense....

In any event, remind yourself what a sad little man this guy is and absolve yourself of being upset by his actions. Act don't react.

Because this has escalated past a little immature carping at each other I would make a police report about the threatening and bullying behavior. Have all of the documentation in a file, copies of everything, photos, even the county code where you live for yourself and the police. Just to have the legal documentation should anything else happen.

Then I would cease all communication with him. It is sad that perhaps you may no longer be able to be friends with his wife, nor your child friends with his. But those are choices which are beyond your control at this point. If you speak to the wife, I would apologize to her that this has escalated so much, and tell her you value her friendship and hope things can be worked out.

In any event, we cannot control the actions of others, what we can control are our own actions and own feelings. Take back your emotional space and do not allow this man to upset you, because when you do, you are giving him exactly what he wants. He wants someone to be as miserable as he is... don't play his game.

 

[Crystalchic]

Jennie,
what concerns me is that she is claiming that your chickens are not properly cared for. i can see both sides of this. if your living with rats and flees and were my neighbors i would have the health department and child protective services involved. if she is not telling the truth about your living conditions then i wouldnt worry about. but one neighbor has to live with the other. if it were me i would down size my flock and move them away from their house. it is true that chickens attract other unwanted pests. I fee that you were being a bit on the antagonistic side. she said that she was taking care of your pets while you went on vacation. it seems like your neighbors tried to tolerate your animals but cant

 

[ams3651]

your responses were a bit juvenile, sorry but what it comes right down to is its your property and your right to have the animals you choose. If he lets poison out on his property with intent to harm isnt that illegal. A guy just got in major trouble here for putting out antifreeze and killing cats coming on to his property. I would put up some kind of barrier to keep your chickens from coming on to his property leave it at that. I wouldnt talk to him anymore about it. When my neighbor told me he wouldnt be responsible if his dog got my chicken in his yard I told him he better hope his dog doesnt get my chicken in my yard.

 

[Crystalchic]

if someone peppered sprayed my child we would be rolling in the street, you would not be at the better end, i promise

 

[Tala]

I don't fault you for "drawing a line in the sand" it sucks if you lose friends, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Nobody will take care of YOU except you. Nobody else will keep you from getting walked all over unless you stand up for yourself. I don't pick fights, but I don't back down either.


I for one, can NOT be friends with the wife or relative of someone who treated me that way. Blood is thicker than water, so who's side do you think your "friends" are really on when it comes down to it??? Even if you wanted to stay friends with the wife and kids, I don't think that's an option now. What do you think jack.... is telling his wife and kids about you? Or threatening them with if they talk to you? Being friends just isn't an option anymore.

Ignore him. Pretend they don't exist.

 

[toredano]

You are within your rights.. legaly that is.
Dont let him bully you or make threats against you or your family or pets.

Record everything, keep track and inform the right people of what he said.
Make sure you have a papertrail of everything.
Talk to the local county police or city police to ensure they are aware of the threats
Do not engage him verbaly or in emails.

If he talks to you in any way or confronts you.. walk away from it and call the authorities.
If he continues or tries to confront you again, go to the courthouse and file for a restraining order.
If he comes onto your property uninvited, call the police for tresspassing.

Dont lower yourself to someone who has issues . He appointed himself the neighborhood nazi and he might be a bit unstable to boot.
Or maybe he has "Chicken Envy"..

Petra

 

[cluckychick]

Regardless of "he said" she said", as soon as that person used the language he did in that email, I would not want to associate with him and I sure would not want my child/children in that house where they could be influenced by that. If you didn't know what type of person he was then you do now.

 

[Crystalchic]

i thought that i read somewhere that she peppered sprayed a child for lookin through a fence
if that is true one can not get any lower than that