tlordon, I can understand your hesitancy. I really do understand how you feel. It get's tough sometimes especially when a meat chick gets hurt and you nurse it back to health, or you name one because of it's personality. Maybe this will help, just kill the chickens. Line up 3 to 5 and start. When you get done it will be over. They will all be dead. You will be done. Then pluck them, gut them and clean them. I promise you by the time you get done, it won't bother you as much. Clean your hands and repeat. If you do more than 9, by the time you are done, you will be really tired of cleaning chickens. Nothing teaches like experience. Also, stop personifying them. These are not people. They don't think like people, love like people, feel like people or worry like people. I know it is over simplifying, but trust me, if you just start, it will be fine.