Do I have the right to be jealous?

[MrsFordTN]

So, tonight I snapped. My SIL has been staying with us and well she found out she is pregnant. Not that is the best time in her life or even with someone she has seen in person more then 3 times, but a baby is a joy no matter what their mother has done.

Well, Today we confirmed via doctor that she is in deed pregnant, and happy as she is she posted it on her facebook wall. DH, Kevin, Made a smart butt comment about how we should get with the program and have a baby ("'before Samantha Gets Jealous" snip of exact wording), without taking in my feelings at all. I have been quite the whole time, not a word, just support for Shanna. Well, she was on her Laptop and Kevin on ours, I wanted to post something in reply to the post and Kevin wouldn't get off ours to let me, so I went into the living room to borrow Shanna's computer and asked if I could see it for a second, she snapped with a hateful 'no' and I casually told her to go blank herself. Now, I am a pretty reserved person, always, but I snapped. I tried to tell her I was sorry, but of course she just went out to smoke. I gave up, Kevin will have to do damage control again.

The reason I snapped honestly is cause I have these emotions that are building up with no one to talk too. See, Kevin and I have been trying to get pregnant and I am bit jealous. I mean I also felt like me and Kevin would have kids first, then after trying for so long I gave up. I am younger then Shanna, but I feel like a old maid without the baby I desire so much. It feels so unfair that god (or another higher power) would give someone such a wonderful joyous gift that doesn't even want it, and leave my family bare. She hasn't even quite smoking. She doesn't have a job. She has no responsibility. And Everyone is making such a huge deal out of this. I just wanted to stand in the shadows and give her the spot light, but can't seem to hold anything in.

Oh course DH doesn't understand why I am so upset.

 

[Carols Clucks]

I am so sorry, that is VERY hard to deal with and your husband should be apologizing to you first!

That was a mean spirited thing to say to you.

<hugs>

 

[hennyannie]

She is going to have a tough road ahead of her, and you are going to have a well planned, much wanted child in your life when you do get pregnant, and I believe if you be patient and believe in yourself you will. Just think about this, and remember the spotlight is shortlived and reality is on its way for her.

 

[cackydoodledoo]

I think I might know slightly how you are feeling. I had two miscarriages before I had my girls. I was so heartbroken and couldn't understand why I couldn't have kids and these worthless people that dump them in trash cans could!! My SIL has 5 kids and is a worthless mom. My brother isn't much better! I bet you can't guess who is supporting them and feeding them? Ding ding ding!! Welfare!!!!

You may have done this already but have your doctor check for things like endometriosis. Have them check your hormone levels at ovulation. There are a multitude of things they can check. Your husband can also be checked because yes it could be him!!! I had my girls(twins) in 04. I spent 4 1/2 mos on bedrest with 3 of those mos in a hospital 40 miles from home. It was rough but worth it. I got pregnant when the girls were about 4 and miscarried again!! Same feelings all over again. Still trying even now but having no luck.

Keep your head up and think positive. Tell your husband how you really feel and that what he said hurt you. He needs to understand how you feel. Also it will make it much harder to get pregnant if you are all worked up about it and stressed. Just relax and try to not worry about it. It will happen when the time is right!!

And as always feel free to vent anytime!!!

 

[twentynine]

Smoking and PG bout says it all.

Let me get this straight-----

Nevermind read the post 4 times just way to much for an old fart like me to deal with.

Met baby daddy 3 times in person, well it only takes once!

Smoking!

 

[justbugged]

Well if SiL doesn't want it, then the odds are you and your husband will no doubt be raising the baby most of time one way or another. Maybe SiL will consider let you and her bother adopt the baby.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I was thinking the SAME thing. I saw that "she went out to smoke" and thought WHOA WAIT WHAT????

 

[debilorrah]

To the OP: infertility can be extremely heartbreaking, and sometimes, even with all the options out there, it just doesn't happen. I pray for that one day it does.

 

[twentynine]

Alright went back and read it again.

Where does it say that sil doesn't want the baby leaving Kevin and Samantha to raise the child?

 

[justbugged]

I forgot to answer your original question. Yes you have the right to be jealous, of your SiL pregnancy.