That you will be alone forever? Most of the time this seems like a completely irrational thought to me, but every once in a blue moon I actually do worry that I will never find someone. But let me back up a little.... I'm a complete dunce when it comes to relationships and guys. I'm also not your typical "girl". I like getting dressed up, but I'd rather play in the mud. I enjoy my trucks, animals, and out doorsy stuff. While I do take time to make myself look nice, sometimes I just plain don't care. There have been plenty of guy friends and plenty of them I've liked as more than just a friend, but like I said...I'm just a complete dunce when it comes to relationships! I have been rejected a few times and it hurts, but I've gotten over it. I'm a very storng person when it comes to things like that. Anyways, my reasons for thinking about this is basically because I found out this one guy I like broke up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. Last semester here at college, I studied with him and I got to know him a little bit. I haven't really spoken to him too much this semester, other than saying hi when I see him in the halls. I've been thinking about asking him on a coffee trip to dunkin donuts, but then I start wondering if someone like that would ever like me more than just a friend. (I'm trying really hard to lose weight. I've battled type one diabetes and weight gain since I was 4 1/2 and I've come to have low self esteem when it comes to my appearance!) So I'm not really sure if anything will happen with this guy, but it got me thinking. Sometimes I really long for a companion that's more than just a friend, but most of the time I'm completely happy single (I'm planning on moving cross country in the next two years for med school). This is not really a vent, but I always feel bad "whining" to my friends about this sort of stuff, so its nice to "whine" to people on the computer!
Aww don't worry and don't give up hope. I have had many 2 year long relationships and even settled once. The reason I had many 2 year long relationship are because at that point I realize if I stay it will be settling and I said I was not going to settle again. Well I am now 30 and finally with the man I see forever with. I met him at work, of all places! We have been together 2 years and I still see him as my forever man!!! I'm not to much into rushing into marriage and many will disagree but we are planning for conceiving before the year is over. Not sure about the marriage thing yet. There is a good book that helped me put together what I wanted in a relationship and why I tended to chose the ones I had been. A counselor suggested it when I was married. But he wasn't willing to work on it, so I did the worksheets alone over the years after the divorce. It is by Harville Hendrix. It is called Getting the love you want. I do believe he has a special book for singles. Good luck!!
Your "worry" is understandable and I used to be the same way. 9 years ago I met the man of my dreams and now I worry about being old and lonely because my husband is 20 years older then me. We will always have "worries" we just seem to worry about the goofy things. I also know that I could be the one who dies tomorrow and leaves my husband the "lone" one.
No. I didn't think I would get married. I really did not have a desire to find someone and 'settle down'. Long story short, I have been married for many years. While this is not my situation, there are those that are married and still 'alone'. Be happy with yourself. Make a great life for yourself. Chances are there is someone out there for you. Don't rush it.
I wish you lived closer to us, I'd introduce you to my son. You sound just like what he is looking for. He wants to meet a girl that likes the outdoors and would go hunting with him, build things, work in the garden, likes horses and animals. He just can't find anybody around here like that, they are all girly girls that like the mall and spending money. He's picky and yet what he wants is very simple and pretty old fashioned. He is going through what you are going through, so don't give up....there are people in this world looking for the same things you are, you just have to find them. Maybe your move will lead you to the right guy.
If you have things in common with this guy, go for it! I was best friends with my husband before we really started dating. It was nice, I could be myself and didn't have to worry cuz he already liked me for who I was! Keep your head up, stay positive and give him a call, you'll never know until you ask.
Redfeathers, Your son sounds wonderful! I wish there were more guys like that around here. A lot of them are more the indoors type or not my type...or completely weird. LOL Here at college, I am right near the beach...so we have a lot of that type too, and I am not a big beach person....unless its to go bird watching! I've had so many guy friends over the years. I think it's mostly because I give off the completely wrong signals. I can be a real tomboy, and I'm not afraid to play with the guys. All I know is I get "You are just like a sister to me" wayyy too often. I'm not all that concerned about meeting someone as I know chances are I will eventually find someone. I've got a long time to look. I just hate seeing a lot of my friends with someone they love and I have no one (I only feel like this sometimes...like now...most of the time I'm very content being single!)
I will tell you that there are plenty of men out there that DO NOT like stick thin women. And there is a lid for every pot. Go ahead and ask him to have coffee. The very worst thing is he says no, middle of the road you have a great friend, and he could be the guy for you. You never know unless you step out into the danger zone. I am 47 and met the love of my life a year ago online.
I agree with Debi - I met mine on match.com. Took ALOT for me to do that and had to weed through the muck, but it is well worth it. Except for today because we're not speaking, but after almost 2 1/2 years, it's all good. You'll find him when you're not looking; that's how it always works.
