Do you let them see you STEALING their eggs?

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I just spewed coffee all over my monitor! Thanks for that laugh!!! I can soooo relate.
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Sounds like you need the sign that I bought the other day.

This area is protected by ATTACK CHICKENS!

I have that sign on my shed! I bought it at the fair.​
 
With me, if a chicken happens to be laying there, I raise up their breast and get the egg. Some peck and fluff and protest mightily, with some very fierce glares I might add, but once my hand is gone, they no longer care.

If one of the eggs is malformed, I just break it and give it back to the chicken. I have yet to have a chicken that will break the eggs themselves. They'll only eat the egg if something else already broke it.
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If they're out in the pasture and I toss an egg to them, they think it's a treat and fight over the yolk. Funny looking!

One of my WR hens just went broody. I'm going to have to toss her out. >_> (My best hen...fat and chunky with a comb that's so heavy it's falling over.) Wierd she went broody, even if she's a morose brooder, because I collect the eggs twice a day. Oh well.
 

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