Does it ever get easier?

[jacyjones]

i just took my daughter back to university after her 1 month christmas break and I hate it! she is in her 2nd year and after each holiday I hate it just as badly when she goes back! it as if our family is a circle and when she has gone there is a big chunk missing and the circle is incomplete.
I want her to be independent etc etc but I find it so hard and I miss her so much! I feel a bit pathetic but I keep thinking..........how will it be in 18mths when the other one goes as well? Crikey - how many chickens will I need then to fill the space?

 

[gumpsgirl]

I don't know, but with the way that my 16 1/2 year-old is acting today, I would welcome it!

All joking aside, I truly am sorry for your heartache.

 

[debilorrah]

1,792 more chickens will bring toegg farmer status and then you will be too busy collecting eggs to notice that your nest is empty.

I wish I could rub off on you. I look forward to our kids being out. I will miss them, of course, but I will not miss alot too.

 

[ams3651]

Im quite a bit older then my little sister, she calls me mother hen #2. When my parents divorced and my mom had to move 2 hours away I was there to do the things you can only do with mom, plus she cant drive. She is 5 hours away and at first it was worrysome. Especially after 9/11, she lives near Logan Airport. But Im so proud of her, it makes it easier. She is legally blind, moved 5 hours away to go to college, has always been so independent, now will be graduating law school in a couple months. Im just very proud of the person she has become and I am proud that I have been part of it.

 

[greyhorsewoman]

I got 10 horses !

 

[jacyjones]

I used to think it would be nice when I could be more involved in stuff for me and not always thinking and doing for the girls. However, that is not true. I just hate the empty feeling I have. Oh well...........that is the role of a parent I suppose!

 

[MissPrissy]

I am not looking forward to the day my 21 year old is gone for good. I will be lonely at times. What helps me and I hope it will help you - flip the coin, look at it from the other side.

You have given this gorgeous creature the tools to be an awesome human being. Don't be sad. Step back and let her stretch her wings and fly. She has so much to experience in her lifetime. Love, marriage, her own children. Rejoice in her and just watch her go knowing she'll always come back to you.

It makes the days alot easier for me.

 

[momofdrew]

It doesnt get better...My son went into the army a year ago and is now in Iraq and the wound in my heart his leaving made is still very raw... even though I am proud of my son and his accomplishments the empty nest still hurts...I can symphathise with you...

 

[kodiakchicken]

I can completely sympathize.

I am not what most people think of when they picture the "perfect" mom. I am the one who works outside the home while my husband works from home and gets our daughter to and from school and I like it that way. I would love to be a stay at home mom but it would drive me absolutely insane! I thrive on the chaos, but I couldn't do it all day every day. Those of you that do it have my absolute awe and admiration.

My job takes me to the back country and away from home for days at a time and I'm involved in several volunteer organizations that often take me into the back country.

That said, I miss my DD (8 years old) even when she goes to spend the night at a friend's!!! I find myself wandering around the house, not knowing what to do. I do take her with me on trips and projects as much as possible and I wonder what I will ever do when she's not here. We only have the 1, so that makes it even harder.

But, I have a couple suggestions that might help quell that empty nest syndrome.

First, if you think you are up for having another child in the house, consider taking in an exchange student. Because we always wanted more children and adoption has not been an affordable option for us, we host exchange students every other year. What an amazing experience!!! Three years ago it was an 18 year old from Brazil who still calls us mom and dad. She led to having a young man live with us who's parents were moving and wanted to finish his senior year here. He recently moved back to Kodiak and spends his holidays with us. And we currently have a 16 year old Danish girl whom we absolutely love. Sure, you ultimately have to let them go too, but then you have all these wonderful places to visit and you end up with children all over the world.

That's my next suggestion: start a travel fund now and as your children grow and spread their wings, take that opportunity to visit wherever they choose to land. My folks encouraged my brother and I to take every opportunity, which we have and which landed me back in Alaska. But, unfortunately, they didn't save enough to travel often and so we don't see them as much as we'd like.

Third, if you are really brave and big-hearted, consider foster children. Yet again, you are facing having to let them go (if you are not interested in adoption) but think what you could do for those children in the brief time they are with you. I'm a big believer in the "love conquers all" theory and I think that having someone who truly loves and cares for you and isn't afraid to show it, no matter how brief a time, can change a person's life.

Best of luck! Sounds like your daughter has an amazing, caring Mother.

 

[jacyjones]

Quote:
Thank you so much for those words! With a tear in my eye - they do help. And, yes, she will always come back to me, I know that. thank you.