Does wanting to live different mean I am such a mean mom?

[HeatherLynn]

Ok we decided wanted to live a bit different than those around us. I didn't want to live in debt, be a slave to the cell phone, or allow my kids to be addicted to video games. We wanted to teach self sufficiency, imagination, outdoor skills, crafting skills, and teamwork. We do everything as a family. If one has an interest then everyone supports it. Thats just how we roll now.

So we invite some scout buddies over and yet again all I hear is why don't we have a flat screen, why do I only have one laptop, why don't we have all 3 of the latest game system, why is our only game system older than heck and why is it stored in the closet. Wow your mom is mean. You get to do nothing. I could not live without my ps3, ds and wii.

I just feel like screaming. GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY. sigh my son is feeling a bit less than because we have less than the others. I will spend the day explaining but all ours is paid for and they will be paying for theirs for the next 8 years, but that never flies when your feeling less than your friends. Pizza, chips and coke is not good enough. It has to be pizza from the fancy place, ice cream, maybe a trip out for some fast food and of course more gaming. Not loving it right now. A bit tired of being the mean mom.


Oh yea and jackie chan movies are apparently lame and any game less than m for mature is to baby like for 11 year olds. more sighing.

 

[Elite Silkies]

Stick with it

We just took our son's psp, ds, playstation and all the other good stuff away. They become those games and it's quite scary

Trust me, your children are much better off without them.

They are not lacking, they can find all kinds of fun things to do. Our son was bored had nothing to do, so we let him help us re-roof the house, he appreciates his TV now

 

[Blarneyeggs]

Keep up the good work! We recently dropped our cable and I thought THAT was brave! You are my new hero. Enjoy your children.

 

[goldies99]

not a mean mom.......keep up the good old fashion play as long as you can....tree houses and bikes and just playing outside!...kids today are stuck to some kind of electric screen..
teach your kid the good values we use to know......someday he will thank you!

 

[sourland]

Teaching solid core values? Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Knock Kneed Hen]

You WANT your kids to different!!! We don't have video games, our kids don't have or never will have cell phones, we have family movie night when the kids have earned it.
I think going back to basics is teaching kids to appreciate more. Our kids have never asked why we do things differently. It's perfectly normal, just as it was for us when we
were kids! (I'm an older mom).

 

[HeatherLynn]

I just wanna teach it without him thinking I am so mean. He never says it but his friends say it all the time. I know he agrees most of the time now. I almost rented a game system just for this weekend so he could actually enjoy having them over. So far its been 5 hours of complaints. I thought hunting for arrow heads, a little bit of computer games and then an evening of old jackie chan movies would keep then entertained till my husband was home and could do something more adventurous outside. I sorta think they may not leave the bedroom or tv without a crowbar. One mom suggested packing up his blueray player and his gaming systems so he would be comfortable. Is it unreasonable that I want to scream like an insane woman right now. This is just not healthy. I want to know how a teacher could allow her son to be that addicted to violent way too mature games. So addicted that he needs to bring them with him on a one night sleep over. i am going to be sighing alot tonight.

I love my son and I will continue to go through this at every sleepover because I love him but I will be glad when its just us here again. Maybe to salve some bruised feelings I will let them help in the making of some cookies tomorrow. I just feel bad. How do I explain this to him. I go through this myself with the other moms. They think I am insane and how can I live without spa days for pities sake. but I am mature and i can handle those comments. He is just 11 and I know his feelings get hurt. I wish kids were still kids again. So much easier. Once upon a time all the moms were the mean moms too. Some comfort in solidarity. lol

 

[newchickgal]

Thumbs up from me! You are doing what you believe and don't let any one sway you. Too bad more moms aren't doing what you're doing.

 

[weeders n feeders]

Been there and I own the T-shirt. Or rather we own our house, we own my husbands car(1996) and my truck (1997) and my son in college has our older (1987) truck to drive now. Oh yea, he's only got 3 more semesters to go and unless something really catostrophic happens will graduate with no student loans and a solid satisfaction of earning a few scholarships and paying for over half of all his tuition and other expenses by himself. My daughter will do the same year after next. We were mean parents too. But now that the kids are older they really appreciate it. Yea it's helped that theY have seen other kids royally screw up there lives because they were always given everything they wanted and seen other families go bankrupt when they could not keep up will all their loans. It was and sometime still is hard work. But it is VERY WORTH IT.
One thing we did do that helped was we did not always disallow all the extras like the latest games, more computers, et cetera. But we did require that they buy them themselves. That alone taught them more than anything else. They learned to do research on the best value, best price and then how to get the money. BTW we don't do an allowance. Everybody in our family has chores to do and nobody gets paid for them. No one has ever offered me money for cooking a meal. Money comes at birthdays and christmas and outside jobs and if they do something way above and beyond regular chores then we might give them something extra for that. Took my son 3 years to buy his first mp3 player, but he got a really good one. He generally had two computers in his room at any one time - that worked. There were several others in pieces for parts. But he taught himeself a lot by cobbling his own together. Yea, it's not fair to all that both my husband and I are computer specialist and knew sources for cheap parts or someone who was tossing out something. But what I am after here is if they want it let them go for it but it is up to them. You as a parent must provide a warm home, nitrous food, clothing, education and love.everything else is all gravey.

 

[ChikeeMomma]

My kids are almost 8, 4, and one to be born in Feb/March. We don't plan on having any game systems, cell phones for the children, etc. Good work HeatherLynn! So far I haven't heard any friends complaining, but I do wonder when it will start. My kids play outside all the time, have a great imagination, and enjoy life without out the latest gadgets. I like making gifts for my kids or buying them things that let them be imaginative (not the normal toys you can pick up at Walmart). I choose to buy them handmade items or American made. So they don't always have the mainstream items that other kids do. They do have a couple of Barbies and what not, but they think the other items are so much more unique. My aunt loves making them beautiful, quality Halloween costumes that double as dress up clothes thoughout the year. Both of my daughters favorite gift to date is a handmade cloth doll that Santa bought on Etsy.