Drama over the "family farm"- input, experience, advice appreciated.

[Qi Chicken]

I don't know very much about probate and all these things but I think Ridgerunner also was spot on. And when you were talking to grandpa tonight, you can't just be vague to spare his feelings. That is what has gotten you into this predicament. You just have to sit down and lay it out. What exactly is the status of the will and what do you (as in your grandparents) want to happen and can I call the lawyer to set up a time for you to meet with him/her? I feel bad that his wanting everyone to get along probably is just not realistic and just wishful thinking.

The time is NOW to figure all this out. Maybe the people that want the money can get some kind of monetary settlement.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
It could be set up now as a family trust, or their names could be added to the deed as tenants in common. Probably the best way to keep the grandparents in charge is with a trust. Need to speak to an attorney in your state.

 

[PineappleMama]

As much as I would HATE to do it, I hate discussing death and all that happens after particularly considering some of my less than pleasant family members... but maybe you should talk to your Grama (and if he can handle it Grampa) about this. Let them know that the girls have been talking and two want to outright sell and the other two, while not gung ho about it, think it's the only option financially available. Even if your mom held out and refused for your sake/your g'parents wishes, they'd still have her beat 3 votes to 1... so it will be sold. The whole point of them willing it the way they did was to keep it in the family, plans are already being discussed to blow that out of the water. So, if they hope to keep it in the family then they'll have to write it up differently. Whether that's a trust, or deeding it strait to you, or ???? unless they change things it will be sold. Also, check your numbers and make sure that you can afford to keep it... it would be a real shame if they changed things up and then you couldn't pay the taxes and lost it. So make sure if you're going to offer yourself as an alternative that you can pull it off... and then ya gotta leave the decision up to them.

About all I can think of.

 

[TeamChaos]

Thank you all for your insight and suggestions! As of right now my plan of action is to gather all my income/ output data for the farming I've been doing out there and make a tangible plan to adhere to through this growing season in hopes of establishing enough of a potential income argument to stave off the dismissive attitude that there is no money to be made off working the farm. In addition to that, my husband and I are looking into our loan/ financial options so that we know what we can and cannot afford to do if the farm should come up for sale. The farm is eligible for tax cuts since I sell eggs off the farm, so we're getting that paperwork done also- might add beef cows again too, to take the taxes down a little more.

I can't help but curious- my grandfather owns five houses in addition to the farm. Three of the sisters live in houses he has given them but never put the deeds in their names, two are rental properties. The farm has been Gram and Papa's primary residence for over thirty years up until three months ago. Are the other properties not also at risk for sale? The aunts haven't mentioned a word about how that will be handled.

As far as conversations with grandparents go, unfortunately I think that ship has sailed. Gram has had several strokes and when the topic of the farm comes up, she suggests cutting everyone out of the will and leaving it to her dog. And she's totally serious. She is not competent to manage their properties or finances at all but Grandpa will not get her declared legally incompetent because he's afraid someone would take advantage of her after he dies. I completely respect his decision and realize the implications of it. This also means that Papa cannot make any changes to their wills unless she agrees to it and he doesn't want to involve her in any changes.

It's a hot mess, it is. I suppose I should have pressed him harder in earlier days, but I genuinely believed (as I think he does still) that family is family and everyone understood and respected Gram and Papa's wish for the farm. I've never wanted to risk being seen (or feeling) as having my "hand" out and maybe I'll suffer for it. I'll need to make peace with that. There are other people who have made no secret of what they expect to gain when my grandparents die and I've never had any time for them; in fact I can think of two that I kicked off the farm when they came to ask for an 'advance' on their inheritance- no interest in, you know, helping my grandparents stay in their own house and recover from various lifechanging illnesses, but all the time in the world to debate what the cash value of their blood should be.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

If your grandfather predeceases your grandmother, chances are VERY high that she WILL be declared incompetant. If your grandfather wants to protect her, he will do the paperwork to make it happen NOW, and name a guardian/trustee (or 2-3 so that there is oversight) to look after her interests in any situation where he can no longer take care of her (this could be death, or his own incompetance. As for changing their wills, they cannot legally have ONE will, each has a separate one. Generally a married couple's wills pretty much mirror each other, but they do not have to. He cannot change the provisions of her will without her consent. Not sure exactly what would happen there if she is declared incompetant. However, he can change his OWN will, and if she predeceases him, the decisions he makes for final distribution of anythin that was not distributed to others on her death will occur (some limitations on this--for example, if something is in her name, and her will stated that he has use of it for life, but after his death it would go to XXX, then he cannot change that. However, anything that she outright wills to him, he can leave wherever he chooses). Quite frankly, with Gram wanting to leave it all to the cat, it sounds like she has a pretty clear idea of what is going on with her children fighting over the assets.

He needs independant (not family) advice on how to fairly divide his assets in the manner he would like. It actually sounds like a trust might well be the best option for taking care of both him and Gram, and seeing that their choices for keeping the farm (and the other houses?) in the family. Assuming that the titles have never been changed to put those who live there on them, and assuming that they are also to be shared amongst their children, then yes, indeed the other houses are also at risk. Depending on your state's laws, and exactly how the will is written, it may well be that the ones who want to sell can force a sale. But there is also the possibility that the one who does NOT want to sell can prevent a sale (which could lead to a court case over the sale of the properties).

 

[TeamChaos]

Papa passed away Thursday morning. I guess we'll see if his daughters can manage to honor his memory and take care of things the way he wanted them to.

That said, my stepdad (who is a lawyer in NC) has offered to advise my sister and I of our rights and to help us find the right legal counsel in WI if need be.

 

[HeatherLynn]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you said you were looking at financial options. There are rural loan programs available through the USDA. I know that sounds weird. If I can find the link I will pm it to you but no money down, guranteed loans and such for rural properties. I am in the process of applying for one now through our state.

 

[herfrds]

So sorry for your loss.

Glad you have someone willing to help you out.