drunk driver who nearly killed my sister sentenced today

[Mattemma]

Hugs for your sister and everyone else who has suffered injury and/or loss due to some jerk. Anyone ever see the Jodie foster movie BRAVE ONE? I would want to do as her character did.Probably wouldn't but I always tell dh I would want too.

 

[schellie69]

I worked in the court system in the criminal dept, I would talk to the youth worker and she would see her kids show up on the adult docket it always made her sad when that happened because it seems that they didn't learn. I did some paper work to send a guy to prison who had cases dating back 7 years he was on probation when he got in trouble and they would keep plea bargaining his cases and back on probation he went it was so upsetting,. I would hope your sister does get together with the other victims it is part of the healing process I know she wants to just forget and move one but there are somethings that you can not just forget I know I am a survivor of well lets just say abuse and It took me years to move forward. I am praying that your sister and the other victims of this crime can find peace.

 

[bt03]

Our justice system is not always just...

My brother was killed by a drunk driver on his way home from work. He was 17. My cousin was in the car with him he was 15 at the time and has had severe arthritis from all of the metal that they put in his arms and legs to put him back together since that day. It was his 3rd time being caught, but I bet it was his 1,000th time drinking and driving. He got 7 years for killing my brother and 7 years for scarring my cousin.

It's hard and everyone still tells me I need to talk about it so that I can accept what has happened to our family. I call BS on that. I have dealt with it my own way and your sister knows what is best for her to deal with everything that has happened. I am sorry that this has happened to your sister and to your family. She has a hard road ahead of her as far as recovering but she will do amazing with a good support system (which it sounds like she has with you).

It will never be easy to know that someone will walk free and likely do it again as soon as they get the chance and your sister's life, the other victims, or their families will never be the same. I wish after 6 years I had more help to give but it is still beyond me. My daughter will never again get to see my brother, my husband never got a chance to meet him & neither will our future children, but what hurts worst is that I will never get to hug my big little brother again.

Hug your sister ever chance you get and my prayers are with y'all

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Someone actually told you to ACCEPT what happened? That would be a person who has never experienced a tragic death at the hands of a murderer, whether it is a serial killer or a drunk driver.

 

[welsummerchicks]

I don't know what the person meant by 'accept', but when I use that word, I don't mean 'accept' in the sense of 'forget' or 'make light of it' or 'not feel angry at times'.

I mean don't let it ruin the rest of your life.

I went through physical therapy for my back (sport injury). When I was there, there was a fellow who had been in a horrible car accident - similar situation. Not his fault, and the other driver had been drunk. The other driver received only a light sentence and a period of probation. One other person had been killed in the accident, a friend in the car of the guy I met.

That guy would lay on the table and the PT would try to stretch his contracted tendons in his leg, and huge beads of sweat would drip down his face. Both his legs and one arm looked like sticks and he had lost a ton of weight during a long hospital stay. It must have been a horrific accident.

After he was stretched, this guy would lie on that treatment table and just cry, that's how much he hurt. The PT would take cups of ice and rub it on his leg.

One day I heard him say, 'I am going to get even with that S** of a ***** no matter what'.

The PT said, 'how are you going to get even with him?'

The guy said, 'Walk without a cane'.

Sometimes that anger can be a powerful source of energy. Energy for rebuilding, living again, for remembering those who have been taken away by doing something positive - campaigning for better laws, working for victim support, or simply cook, play with your children, go back to work, make a casserole again for Thanksgiving. And 'Walk without a cane'.

But if on the other hand, he was lying in bed wasting away, refusing to try in physical therapy, and becoming more and more disabled, not maintaining his current relationships or creating new ones, not finding a new way of life and a new way to be happy, I would say his grief and anger were doing him no good at all.

 

[chixie]

sister went to the doctor today. she is still having major issues with her back. so the doctor ordered an MRI she also has major issues with her arm not wanting to heal...
Thanks for all the well wishes and support. It means alot to our family

 

[welsummerchicks]

I admire your sister. I hope she heals in all possible ways.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I wholeheartedly agree with this statement!

 

[chixie]

Quote:
I wholeheartedly agree with this statement!

Thank you... she is my Idol. I don't think I could ever be as strong or brave as she is

 

[welsummerchicks]

Not in this situation of course, but in other situations I've seen, it seems family and friends have unrealistic expectations for recovey.

Some illnesses and affects of injury simply don't go away. Neck or back injuries are notorious for this issue.

Mental illness too, doesn't always simply disappear when one 'takes one's pills'. It isn't that simple. For example with schizophrenia, one may 'take one's pills' diligently, every day and those pills simply don't fix everything. Schizophrenia doesn't just cause hallucinations, which medications are usually good at controlling. It affects decision making, socializing and in particular drive and ambition - and medicines don't always completely make those issues disappear.

People rarely know that a gunshot wound or a car accident may result in a permanent disability - even a beating can damage nerves and soft tissue permanently. Things the person used to enjoy may now be impossible. It isn't always all about letting a fracture heal. There may be aches and pains for years after. Often its about building a new way of life - new ways to socialize, new hobbies, new activities.

When someone has their life changed by an event that is out of their control and due to someone else's negligence or criminality, family and friends often expect the person to 'snap out of it' on a convenient schedule.

Sometimes I think family and friend run a little short on endurance, and need to gird themselves for a somewhat longer and more gradual recovery. People are often angry for a long time, and it indeed may take time for a person to start working on their recovery.

Injury takes a toll on people. Often they are legitimately afraid to start taking chances and trying things again. Quite often if there is uncertainty about their recovery, starting to take steps forward can be very scary.

People need to set their minds to the fact that recovery from a serious accident or illness can actually, normally, be a rather bumpy road, with inconvenient feelings continuing to pop up and things not always taking a steadily upward course.

It's not so easy, really, to be a relative or friend to a person who's had a life changing accident or illness. It's really not so very easy to understand when a person is having natural, normal delays, and when they're becoming too dependent and not trying hard enough.