dangerouschicken, I can sympathize with you! I was a "city girl" for most of my life, although I spent the first 4 yrs of my life on a farm. I had my first experience with killing the duck I raised a few months ago. I simply called her yellow duck because she had a more yellow beak than the other pekin I have who I kept for eggs(named Hank lol). I caught her (you are right, no easy task) and held her in my arms, soothing her. I thanked her for giving her life for me and my family, and my husband slit her throat. She had a happy duck life, free ranging on 2.5 acres, with a large pond, eating bugs and weeds all day. She never saw a cage, she never knew illness or pain. I think people would respect food more if they knew how it got to their table. I thank all my animals for their lives, even if I don't eat them. I thank my chickens for their eggs, and meat. I thank my goats for their milk. I have to agree that it is more -- intense with the duck, they just have those eyes. And I could never kill my goose...but I do eat goose. Yellow duck was a delicious, tender, juicy duck. I eat meat. I raise happy animals. Kudos to you for sharing your experience!