- May 30, 2013
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That's a fair observation. While like I said I was raised in a religious family, no-one has ever been strict with me. My mum doesn't have any rules that I can think of, and me and my brother don't break any that she might have that I've over looked. For instance, there is no rule that I can't smoke, that I can't go out drinking every night, that I have to achieve in school. I don't do/do these things because I WANT to, not because I should, and it works with my brother. We've always been involved in family decisions, and my parents have treated us like equals and adults for as long as I can remember. Apparently when I was a baby I would choose my own clothes so my mum stopped getting clothes out for me and let me do it myself.I wish I could agree, but one of the worst offenders that I know personally, is a woman whose boys speak to her like she's some unworthy subordinate, and she's been big on their religious upbringing. Not only are they very involved in their church, but she insisted they go to a religious school. Although she's no longer Catholic, she, too, was raised in a very religious home and went to Catholic school. On the other hand, while I did not raise my children in a religious environment, I was much stricter than she ever thought of being, and my kids (who are by no means perfect angels) are VERY respectful to me and others. They are also considerate of others, and can't believe the behavior of kids today. So, my personal observations don't seem to support your theory. However, I do agree that parents, religious or not, don't demand respect for authority from their kids anymore and everyone has a huge *sense of entitlement*.
My dad used to tell me "you'll have rights when you're 21 and earning your own living". Now, it's my kid has a *right* to do whatever he wants because he's MY kid! This is where I become totally baffled. How did we get here?
To illustrate what I mean, my daughter lives in the suburbs, and sent me this email on Halloween:
Just got done handing out candy. Some bullet points:
• More than one parent drove their kids around in a golf cart, even up and down the driveways, and these weren't toddlers - we're talking kids between 7 and 10. Walk, you lazy people!
• A LOT of parents came to the door with their kids, holding beer bottles in beer cozies. What The ...?
• Some of these beer-drinking parents were driving the golf carts.
• At least 6 kids tried to grab more candy out of the bowl after I put candy in their bags. I grabbed their hands and said, "No touching the bowl!" One mother yelled at me, while holding her beer bottle, "Don't touch my son!" Really?
• Very weird to realize these parents are my age.
• More than one kid looked in their bag after I dropped a piece of candy in, looked at me, and said, "Is that all?"
Both my brother and I have always respected our parents, we don't do things behind their backs, we don't lie to them about where we are or who we're with. My mum knows all my friends and my parents trust that when I do go out I will keep myself safe and I won't cause trouble.
I have friends who are from families where there are lots of rules, and they hate their parents and argue with them constantly, and they do all the things they're not allowed to do behind their backs. I also have friends who have *those* mothers who think their child is a darling little angel and couldn't hurt a fly, and they will argue the toss with anyone who tries to reprimand their child, and they turn out as spoilt brats in my experience. My mum knows I don't cause trouble, and if someone falsely accuses me or my brother she will argue with them, but if she had any reason to think we HAD done something then she would be the person marching us in to apologise. My brother once shouted at his teacher and he had a week of lecturing and my mum made him apologise.
I intend to raise my kids like this.
