Dumbest Things People Have Said About Your Chickens/Eggs/Meat

[OneMountainAcres]

Now THAT was a good one loved it!

 

[ChaoSS]

Ol farmer John had about a dozen hens and a single rooster to keep them fertilized. This rooster had been performing admirably for several years, but he was getting up in years and was no long able to keep up with his little harem. Farmer John brought in a new rooster several times, but none of them lived up to his expectations very well.

So the rooster is out there one day, eyeing his ladies, when Farmer John pulls up in his pickup and drops off another young rooster. The rooster struts up to the old fellow and announces that he is here to replace him, so he might as well stand aside and let him have his way. Ol rooster sighs and says "you know, I think I still got it in me to take you on, how about we decide this with a race. One lap around the barn, whoever wins gets all the hens". The young rooster chuckles and says "Come on gramps, you can barely move any more. I'll give you a head start, and I'll still beat you."

So the race was on, with the elderly rooster taking off first, and then a few seconds later the younger rooster following after him. Just then Farmer John steps outside, curses loudly, and shouts "D*** it Marge, get me my shotgun, looks like we got ourselves another **** gay rooster!"



Moral of the story, don't mess with the older guys. They'll outsmart you every time.

 

[OneMountainAcres]

Hahahaha!

 

[enola]

one time I asked someone that owns a chicken farm told "Why does that chicken have three legs?" and he said "So it will weigh more when I have butchered it. the more weight the more money

What?

 

[Irishhenman]

[COLOR=2F5496]Fred was[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young pullets, and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. [/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]He kept[/COLOR]  [COLOR=2F5496]records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=2F5496]This[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=2F5496]Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Fred's[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all![/COLOR]

[COLOR=2F5496]When he[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so t couldn't ring. He'd[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.[/COLOR]  

[COLOR=2F5496]Fred was[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]so proud of old Butch that he entered him in the Brisbane Poultry Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]him the "Pullet Surprise" as well.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=2F5496]Clearly,[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]when they weren't paying[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]attention.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=2F5496]Moral: Vote[/COLOR] [COLOR=2F5496]carefully in the next election - you can't always hear the bells.[/COLOR]

I see this one has finally traveled across the pond

 

[gimmie birdies]

I have a chick I hatched, the grandparents were a cochin and a frizzle cochin, the parents were both frizzles and a person by the name of "Black Cochin" was up tight that it was not "PURE" enough. Well the site doesn't say award winning pures only. go to that page and see what you think. looking for positive input. say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.

 

[sayga]

Ol farmer John had about a dozen hens and a single rooster to keep them fertilized. This rooster had been performing admirably for several years, but he was getting up in years and was no long able to keep up with his little harem. Farmer John brought in a new rooster several times, but none of them lived up to his expectations very well.

So the rooster is out there one day, eyeing his ladies, when Farmer John pulls up in his pickup and drops off another young rooster. The rooster struts up to the old fellow and announces that he is here to replace him, so he might as well stand aside and let him have his way. Ol rooster sighs and says "you know, I think I still got it in me to take you on, how about we decide this with a race. One lap around the barn, whoever wins gets all the hens". The young rooster chuckles and says "Come on gramps, you can barely move any more. I'll give you a head start, and I'll still beat you."

So the race was on, with the elderly rooster taking off first, and then a few seconds later the younger rooster following after him. Just then Farmer John steps outside, curses loudly, and shouts "D*** it Marge, get me my shotgun, looks like we got ourselves another **** gay rooster!"



Moral of the story, don't mess with the older guys. They'll outsmart you every time.

LOL! Honestly I thought the old rooster was gonna have his way with the ladies while the other rooster was on the other side of the barn. This is even better.

 

[7 Biddies]

Ol farmer John had about a dozen hens and a single rooster to keep them fertilized. This rooster had been performing admirably for several years, but he was getting up in years and was no long able to keep up with his little harem. Farmer John brought in a new rooster several times, but none of them lived up to his expectations very well.

So the rooster is out there one day, eyeing his ladies, when Farmer John pulls up in his pickup and drops off another young rooster. The rooster struts up to the old fellow and announces that he is here to replace him, so he might as well stand aside and let him have his way. Ol rooster sighs and says "you know, I think I still got it in me to take you on, how about we decide this with a race. One lap around the barn, whoever wins gets all the hens". The young rooster chuckles and says "Come on gramps, you can barely move any more. I'll give you a head start, and I'll still beat you."

So the race was on, with the elderly rooster taking off first, and then a few seconds later the younger rooster following after him. Just then Farmer John steps outside, curses loudly, and shouts "D*** it Marge, get me my shotgun, looks like we got ourselves another **** gay rooster!"



Moral of the story, don't mess with the older guys. They'll outsmart you every time.

An oldie, but still a goodie. Thanks!

 

[7 Biddies]

I see this one has finally traveled across the pond

Another wonderful British export!

 

[jc12551]

I'll take repugnant BO over the heavy perfumes. Around here (central California) there seems to be a cultural inclination toward heavy perfumes and Colognes rather than basic hygiene. Most of the time it smells like a combination of sour BO and perfume. Rather unpleasant.

I had a biology class right after a pe class one year. I had to make a new classroom rule: Axe does not cover bo or equal a shower, shower after pe. Ice ice ick