encounter with CPS... give me a break! Long....

[fowlwoman1]

So I was out putting bags on my apples on my organic apple tree today. Our town's small irrigation canal runs right next to our property and is about 100 feet from said apple tree. Since I was right there, I gave my 6 year old son (who is very careful around the ditch-- we walk on it all the time) permission to throw bits of rocks into it like he loves to do. A couple minutes later, a man comes running frantically up the sidewalk (we live in town) yelling at him to get away from the water. I called to him "it's okay, I"m right here watching him". but he's still just all upset and chewing me out for neglecting and endangering my child and to top it off he hands me his CPS business card and tells me he's going to report me for neglect and child endangerment. he's saying that since I have a fenced yard he needs to "be in the enclosed area". I feel that I have the right to allow my son to be anywhere on my property that I see fit. I ordered him to leave my property or I was going to call the police. he seemed pleased with that. so I called 911 and said I had a social worker harassing me on my property. so they send out an officer to see what's going on. she says that a social worker will have to come out to "follow up" but that it will probably be "no big deal".

What freaks me out is that this guy thinks he can take my son away from me for this. I'm an excellent parent. I don't care what he thinks about me. that ditch is like 2.5 feet deep and goes at about 2 mph. kids of many ages including some of my son's friends swim in it all the time (even though they legally aren't supposed to and without their parents' knowledge) I used to be a lifeguard and I've still got some skills. I was looking over at him several times each minute. there is no way he would have fallen in without me knowing about it. I asked him later if he felt unsafe when he was by the ditch. He said "no because I could see you". I know that there are parents out there that would not allow their child to do this, but honestly, overprotective is not me. I let my child take risks because that is what makes life worth living. I teach him how to be safe, but to a certain degree I feel it is wise to let him learn on his own. I think I should have the right to allow my child to do this on my property when I am there to supervise.

Thanks for letting me vent! I haven't even told my DH yet because he's had just gone to work when this happened and it would just ruin his day. He is such a worrier. We were thinking about adopting from foster care, but one of the reasons he said he didn't want to is because being involved with the system just might get our own taken from us.

 

[lizardz]

How very frustrating! I know a number of CPS workers, and most of them are very caring and reasonable, but then there are those who get a bit over zealous. I find what works with people like that is to nicely thank them for their concern, then if they continue, tell them you have nothing to hide and that you would welcome someone stopping by to check things out. That usually takes the wind right out of their sails - nothing to argue about, nothing to make them right. While it's true that you need to take precautions to keep your children safe, it can be overdone. I won't even mention things that my son and his friends have done! Of course, there were times that I kind of wished CPS would come take him away

. Good luck. You probably won't hear from him again, and if you do just act like their doing you a favor making sure your child is well cared for.
Liz

 

[okiemommy]

I think if the ditch was nothing that actually was life threatening to your child if he fell in(which it sounds like it wasnt), then it is no big deal. I don't know what type of parent you are b/c I don't know you, but I think there is it is great when parents allow their children freedom to roam within safe and sensible circumstances. I was overprotected as a child, and consequently it just leads to not being protected from things that a child should be protected from, and protection from things that would cause a child to become an emotionally healthy adult.

I loathe the "trigger happyness" of cps or as it's called here dhs. They are so understaffed and swamped with overwhelming caseloads, and are underfunded that they don't have the proper training to recognize situations that need intervention and situations that don't. Meanwhile children are dying here. Dying in situations where parents ARE truly abusive or neglectful, and they don't take the child out of the home and put them with relatives. It is really becoming an epidemic here(actually has been ever since I can remember but is now FINALLY in the public eye!!!). Our DHS is currently being sued right now due to mishandling of cases and going after people that don't deserve to be "hunted", and not prosecuting the people and removing children from the homes that are truly dangerous.

Good luck to you, and if I'm not mistaken, once you are investigated and nothing is found, you can turn around and report him for harassment. I think you can do it through CPS, but if not through there, I know it is possible.

ET for grammar

 

[Eggseronious]

Most cases they fail to do a good job. So it makes you wonder that they try to makeup, simply afraid of their job. Well I will tell you what I would have done if I was in your shoes. No, it might not be a good thing! He is no doubt like one in our area that his son robbed a pharmacy in broad open daylight. Well hes in the clink for about 8 years. Setting a good example for a son well raised.

 

[chicken mamma]

I'm an advocate for a family violence shelter in my area. I'm so sorry that this has happened. part of my job is to ease the fears of parents when cps is involved, and its a shame that people like him are wasting their time (and yours) worrying about things like this, instead of worrying about kids that are really in danger. Fact of the matter is half of them are just going through the motions and doing just enough to not get fired anyway. Again, i'm sorry you had to deal with the jerk, and I hope that you won't have to deal with that again. if you decide to tell your husband tell him not to worry, not all cps workers are like this man.

 

[PAChickenChick]

First....DON'T let this man follow up on ANYTHING by letting him on your property. If you agree to let him on your property to "follow up" he now can use ANYTHING he thinks he can turn into a bigger deal to support his claim.

It is your Constitutional right to be secure in your person and property! (and as guardian of your Son it is your right to be secure in his person also)

Demand that the man have a warrant to come onto your property and just to be on the safe side know a "family law" lawyer and have their number handy.

Also, do not even speak ONE WORD to this man if he comes to your property. Saying anything can also be used to incriminate you if he tries to blow something out of proportion.

I understand that you are not a "worrier" and that is cool....but in consideration of what is at stake....this is one time to really be prepared.

 

[pdsavage]

Listen to PAChicken dont let em come with out a warrent if they do come record everything cause they will try and push you around or act like your best friend to use anything agianst you. go to this site and see what CPS does:
http://www.fightcps.com/
Also this guy sounds very anul and acts like kids should live in a bubble.

 

[Farmer Kitty]

What a jerk! It sounds like a very laid back ditch and with you right there supervising what was the deal? Does this mean we can't take our children to the beach and let them go more than an arm length from us?

I would be careful how you deal with any followups on it but, I personally can't see that you did anything wrong. Maybe the jerk had lost a little one in the family due to a drowning so her over reacted. He may not even have seen you there at first either. Not that it excuses his behavior once he knew you were there though.

 

[chickiebaby]

Don't let one annoying person discourage you from taking in foster kids, tho, as that's the best thing in the world. You can document, informally, what happened, as harassment, with date and time, in case you need it. Then just go on about your business, and let that kid play!

 

[conny63malies]

Watch out they could also come to your kids school and check him out. Once they are on you you have one hell off a time leaving you alone again.
Here is what happened to us. My hubby was sitting on the front steps and was swatting flies with his belt. Our oldest ran by and he accedentlly got her with the end on her right calf a bit, it left a mark.
I guess someone in schol saw it and taylor told them , as good as a five year old can explain, that daddy hit her with a belt. Techn. true but it was a accident. next thing you know we had CPS and the police there, and the CPS @$%7 threating to end my husbands military career over this. they came back when taylor was molested on the bus , like it was my fault. And again they camewhen my son, who has bad balance (who get dingged up all the time anyways)had a little scratch on his back. I hadnt even noticed it and it could just as easy happend at school. They even took them to a evaluation.
What gets me fuming though is that the very same case worker gave Trenton Duckett(please google the story up)back to his mentally unstable mom, who had threated his life in the Walmart parking lot when she held a knife onto his leg.. After his dissapearence his mom killed herself and Trenton hasant been found to this day.

Be on the offence now, prepare for a battle. They love to get the innocent while they let the real abuse cases continue.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/missing/duckett.asp

http://www.crimelibrary.com/news/original/0107/1301_trenton_duckett.html
trentons story is shocking and sad