Etiquette ? RE: Sympathy cards

[gritsar]

Some background. Five years ago I worked as a hospice nurse for a very nice elderly couple when the wife was dying of cancer. I stayed every night and early morning with her so her DH could get some rest. The couple lived in a small town on the other side of the county from where I currently live. Of their three grown children, two boys and a girl, the boys live on the family farm outside that small town, the daughter lives several hours away in Little Rock. I grew fairly close to the daughter during her mothers illness and kept in touch with her for a couple of years after her mother passed. The sons I occasionally see in town and we exchange hellos, but don't stop to chat. I would occasionally see the father in town and once or twice stopped by to visit him when I happened to be in the area.

A very strange incident happened the day after the mother passed that I will remember to my dying day. I was driving to the parents home to offer my condolences when I had a thunderclap moment. When I got there, I pulled the daughter and one son aside and told them that they needed to remove all the guns from the house, immediately. I thought they would think me a chook, but I had to tell them. To my surprise they took me seriously and straight away had the one son take his dad for a walk while the DD and other DS removed the weapons. The very next day the DD called me in tears. She said she had been woken up early that morning by her dad rifling through the house. When she asked him what he was looking for, he told her his guns. He then asked her if they had been removed and she told him yes. He told it was a very smart thing that they had done. She thanked me for saving her dad's life. This drew the daughter and I closer together for awhile.

Now the father has passed. I'm not sad about it. I'm happy for him. He is now with the wife that he loved so much.

So, to my question. I want to send a sympathy card. I don't know who to send it to. I will address it to the entire family, but where do I send it - to the parents home, one of the sons homes or to the daughter?

TIA

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Address one to the entire family at the parent's address.

My sister's and I sat around my mother's dining room table and opened them all, shared memories of the people and their relationship to our parents, laughed, cried and wrote thank you notes. It was not easy, but it is now one of my more fond memories.



Then, if you wish you can send another to the one you were closer to.

 

[redhen]

Tough call..
I'd probably send 2.. one for just the daughter at her house (because you 2 were close before)... and maybe another one to the family at the family house?
Maybe that be overkill though?... i dont know..i'm no good at these things...

 

[sourland]

Hate to do this, but I agre with Redhen.

Very intuitive about the guns!

 

[redhen]

Quote:
YAY! I gots one right!!

 

[sourland]

Or we both got it wrong.

 

[gritsar]

Thanks y'all. I can't think of two people I'd rather be more wrong with than you sourland and you Miz Red.

Thanks to you too What.

 

[debilorrah]

I would also send one to the family, and a more personalized one to your friend. Losing someone like that is so hard.