Ewww! My first kill today. Am sick as a dog ever since. Any thoughts?

Yeah, overthinking it will do that. My first kill didn't go as smoothly as I'd have liked, but I think it was more traumatic for me and DH than it was for the birds. We killed, plucked, and gutted all at once. Once we got the actual dispatching out of the way, I didn't feel as uneasy. That was the worst part for us because we felt that we had let our birds down by not being efficient enough at it. And once we got the heads and feet off (we cut the throat, both DH and I were a little disturbed thinking about decapitation, although we almost had to resort to it as we had a really hard time finding the jugular on two of them) I found it much much easier to deal with because then it was extremely similar to cutting up store bought birds. Except with guts.

Still, I find that "aging" the meat for 24-48 hours not only helps to keep the meat from being tough but also has the advantage of giving me time to distance myself from the actual deed. It took me that long to be totally at ease with handling the carcasses. But by then, cutting them up for parts and putting them in the freezer was easy and just as "normal" to me as doing it with store bought whole chickens with whom I had no relationship. We had the first two this week in chicken tacos and they were the best tacos we've had.
 
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This is why I was candid with my kids from the start, they knew before the first box of chicks arrived that anytime we had more that 2 males of any species of bird the extras were destined to be eaten. I had planned to keep them in the house so they didn't get traumatized by the freakiness of the body twitching after the head and body were seperated-- but of course they watched from the window anyway LOL.
Since hubby and I were processing the bird together (first time for both of us) we took a good deal of time to talk to our children (8 and 5) about respecting the animal that we kill for meat, and how important it is that when it's alive we make sure it is happy and has a good life-- and after we kill it how important it is that we treat the meat carefully so we don't waste what the animal gave up.

We've set aside certain ducks that are designated as family pets that they are allowed to get attached to, and they seem to be ok with the whole system thus far. They certainly liked eating the duck a few hours after the fact.
 
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While I am extremely new here, I would like to chime in on this. It is quite possible you feel remorse because in your mind, you took a life. In essence, you did. However, one of the things that is harder to wrap your mind around is that it was killed for a reason. The bird was raised to be food. I wonder if you allowed yourself to bond with the bird more than you thought. My wife and I were lucky to process our first bird from one we just purchased, rather than the ones we had been raising. Otherwise, I honestly don't know how hard it would have been.

I have euthanized animals before, and that was always hard. Always. I knew it was for a reason but I couldn't wrap my mind around it being justified at first. I actually have one now that needs to be euthanized, but I can't currently bring myself to do it because I have been bonding with this animal her whole life, so I probably understand your feelings.

I suppose that was a slightly long winded way to say that you did nothing wrong. The bird was raised to be eaten. It will get easier as you start to see them as food as much as you see them as pets.
 
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Ouch, that had to be hard. Exposing children to the reality of meat animals is rough. I talked to my children after I did each step of the processing, making sure they understood everything that was going on and that it did not scare them. I did not, however, have them present for it. I might start with that next time, but I'm not sure yet. If you have any others that need to be done, you might want to talk to him well before you do it, and again as you get closer. If you don't have any that are going to be processed soon, you might want to consider getting one or a couple and talking to him about it all through the animal's life so he understands more about what the animal is meant for and what needs to be done. It won't be easy, that I can assure you, but it'll be a bit easier than the "I miss them already"
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I haven't done chicken, but on duck you can cut out the vent area and remove the innards before doing a full pluck.
 
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Thanks for this info, b/c I love knowing how folks do things in other countries, besides here. So, if you leave the whole dead bird hanging outside for a day before plucking/gutting -- does it still need to age a few more days afterwards -- after being dressed, that is?

I ask this because, for example, lots of people here leave their completely dressed birds sitting in the fridge several days before they cook them, to tenderize or to add flavor.
 
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Are you trying to say I'm not cut out for it? How were you your first time? And me - if I want something done, I do it myself. Includes building, driving diggers/tractors and tree felling.

No, I was trying to say that some people, like me are not cut out for it. I respect people who do raise meat birds. You posted you were sick as a dog-I was suggesting something towards your "sick as a dog".

Ok! Sorry I misunderstood.......and I wasn't all that sick (just for a few hrs after!), so that's probably the way I came across with the language I used - Cheers for your reply
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Thanks for this info, b/c I love knowing how folks do things in other countries, besides here. So, if you leave the whole dead bird hanging outside for a day before plucking/gutting -- does it still need to age a few more days afterwards -- after being dressed, that is?

I ask this because, for example, lots of people here leave their completely dressed birds sitting in the fridge several days before they cook them, to tenderize or to add flavor.

Yeah feathersnuggles! But I wouldn't recommend leaving it outside. I'd have had it stolen by an enterprising pinemartin or something! As you can see, I'm totally new to the killing/processing thing but I've been looking up some UK forums on chicken raising and a lot more people on those sites would recommend hanging the bird, guts and all, for a few days to improve flavour and tenderise the meat as the enzymes break it down a little. It seems as though this predominantly US forum doesn't go with that at all! Perfectly normal over here in Europe and it obviously isn't killing us, or making us sick, or you'd think people might have been alerted to that by now eh?!

Anyhow, roo will be cooked tomorrow. I plucked and gutted this morning and managed to get it right - yay! Didn't break or burst any nasty bits and the skin stayed on:) Both my boys (10 and 13) were really interested and not weirded out at all. Nice to see everyones comments - pity there's no 'like' button on here!
 
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No, I was trying to say that some people, like me are not cut out for it. I respect people who do raise meat birds. You posted you were sick as a dog-I was suggesting something towards your "sick as a dog".

Ok! Sorry I misunderstood.......and I wasn't all that sick (just for a few hrs after!), so that's probably the way I came across with the language I used - Cheers for your reply
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It's indeed interesting how different countries do things! Thanks for sharing another view. Please let us know how everything turns out and if it was as yummy as you hoped!!
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