Family members going through a Deployment....

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Run-A-Muck Ranch, Mar 10, 2009.

  1. Run-A-Muck Ranch

    Run-A-Muck Ranch Chillin' With My Peeps

    I am sure this has been posted before and if so I am sorry for a double post here. I hope this is in the correct section but if not, mods please move to the right area of the site..

    I was just curious as to how many are going through with a Deployment right now??..??..
    I know I have posted on this before, but just kinda curious now..
    Jason was deployed last time for 18+ months. This deployment is 14+ months. I know there is a topic on care packages and stuff, but I was more curious as to what "you" do while your loved one is Deployed....
    I am very very active in our FRG(family readiness group). I am actually one of the MAIN contacts for that..It helps so much to beable to help another family member going through this..I guess I might be weird, but it helps me deal with it, knowing I am helping someone else FIRST....
    of course there are our girls, and all the animals, but those are small potatoes, based on daily life dealing with a loved one being deployed...

    I don't really know where I am going with this whole topic, just asking a question I guess....If no responses, I am ok with that....
    Not having a down day, just a down moment I guess...
     
  2. maplesky7

    maplesky7 Flock Mistress

    Jun 14, 2008
    N. IL.
    Is Jason your husband?

    My dh came back from Iraq in Jan. but he's off again.

    I think I saw in family section a support thread for deployed loved ones.

    You have been given the strength to get through this....just take it a day at a time.

    Hugs and prayers,
    Gretchen


    ***oops, I am in the family section...this is the one I was thinking about:

    https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=133789
     
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2009
  3. Grant6411

    Grant6411 RIP Steven

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    Dec 1, 2008
    Tampa, FL
    my older bro is in phillipenes.


    his son was born on christmas eve. he missed the birth of his child cuase he was deployed there. [​IMG]
     
  4. Run-A-Muck Ranch

    Run-A-Muck Ranch Chillin' With My Peeps

    Quote:Yes, Jason is my husband....I know this deployment will be ok (for me anyway). I was just curious as to what others do....
    I am actually one of the leaders of our FRG. I really enjoy being able to help the other family members. I think being through one deployment already also helps alot. I think it makes it somewhat easier when others ask questions. On Jason's first deployment EVERYONE in the FRG was new to this, and noone really was ever able to help with questions, concerns, etc. etc.
     
  5. maplesky7

    maplesky7 Flock Mistress

    Jun 14, 2008
    N. IL.
    How did I do it?

    Get up each day, tend to children, pay the bills just in the nick of time and some late if the finances weren't there, tend to the house and the yard, call on friends and the church when there's more than I can handle...

    don't tell husband about the boiler not working, the frozen pipes bursting, the insurance claims, the insurance going up because of claims, don't tell him when the girls are sick, don't tell him the cat died on his birthday, don't tell him the van wouldn't start, don't discuss the hole in our daughter's heart--the dr. wants to see her in a year (3 years later hole has closed on it's own-yay!)....


    ...when I talked to him, I kept it on the children or a spiritual realm. I told him about one of his fav. Bible study shows and what they discussed that week, I let him talk to the girls if they were awake, depending on the time of day or if it was in the middle of the night...his schedule alternated.

    I went on line and found army beanie babies one time, blocks that spell out the holidays on them another, a wooden puzzle game for the 3 year old for her birthday, and a ballerina bear that dances for the 7 year old on her birthday, and little dollies with clothes that come in their own trunk suitcase for Christmas..... and I mailed them to the girls and would say, look! a package from daddy! He liked the idea he said, so I would email him info. so when they talked he could respond in kind.

    When he stopped sending ecards to them when they were sending them to him...I would stay up at night and send animated ecards to the girls from him. Telling them he missed them and loved them and to be good for mommy...

    When he stopped calling...I told the girls daddy was on the road and gone alot...even though I knew it wasn't the complete truth.

    We kept sending him care packages with treats and gifts and pictures the girls had made. The church and the school both did drives at different times to send his company care packages....tons of treats and books to read...

    I knew he got them but there was not much more than, yeah, I got them. thanks.

    When in the beginning he took the time with other soldiers to write the kids from his sister's school. It hurt to think he wouldn't do the same for his daughter.

    So I just kept praying...


    I didn't move to a base. I stayed home where my support network was...my family, friends, and church. So I never got more than the emails from the Family Readiness Group, coupons for waterparks in a different state, dinner invites that would be too far away to attend...except for the time we talked in the beginning about who I was.

    I'm sure the exeriance may be different somewhat at least for people living on or near a base...to at least have those other members in common with the deployment. No one here ever experianced a loved one off to war, that I was close friends to at least...but maybe the old men who went off themselves but they only shared stories of their battles...I sat with an open heart and listened to them tell their brave stories.

    While not quit understanding what story my husband would come back and tell and if he'd choose to tell it at all and would I be strong enough to hear? Times have changed from the Korean war to now. This battle is on desert lands and not from a vessel in the ocean. Technology has advanced. Women play a different role. Cultures are variable and tribes are not the same.

    But if I had not the faith in my Lord...I would be so much worse off than I am. I am sad but God tells me I'm ok.
    **and I am loved and supported by my family, friends, and church in ways that are such a blessing and a testimony to God's love.
    of course everyone has thier highs and lows....but I have been emotionally, spiritually, and physically tapped and I have nothing left I can do but give it all up to God. and in the mean time, take some comfort and get some giggles at byc.

    If I would suggest anything to help others in my plight...it would be to check on them...physically I mean. Sit down and write out bills with them one day. Go over and get them caught up on dishes and laundry. Just some kind of help with the everyday chores that get hard to deal with when a) little children are always needing tending to and daddy's not there to keep them occupied. or b) they are sad and not funtioning.

    and that's my story. Hope it helps in some small way. Sheds some kind of light to at least one family going through the battle on the sidelines.

    Love in Christ,
    Gretchen

    **added
     
    Last edited: Mar 11, 2009
  6. AK_Button_Mama

    AK_Button_Mama Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Dec 30, 2008
    Wasilla, Alaska
    My hubs leaves in May for a depolyment. (by all means its not 14 months but he will be gone) I actually look forward to him deploying... then I dont have any one to ask if I want to go hang with my hommie in soldotana for a week!! hey tori!!!!! no really I have delt with numerous deployments in my 18 years..... I have never had issues... I guess the only thing that I could advise people on is I do not watch TV/ new shows it makes me too anxious wonderin gif that guy is MINE. but then again I dont watch the news daily any way because its so depressing.

    My kids think that deployments mean daddy will be gone and he will bring back goodies... so they dont miss him much...

    I guess we have just been so self sufficiant that we deal with him leaving...

    Oh I do have to say that I miss him taking out the trash (that is the only thing he does regularly when he is home).
     
  7. my youngest son will be deployed again in May, and Like any mother i worry and pray a lot. If any one thats deployed already, books a million will ship books to them free (you have to buy the books but they will ship them for you) also returning vets can check out www.project sanctuary, its a great thing to help unwind. marrie [​IMG]
     
  8. turney31

    turney31 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 14, 2008
    palestine texas
    I just wanted to say THANK-YOU for your sacrifice! I have a son in the Marines but he is stationed in LA. He has not been to Iraq yet, but he is one of the Marines that attends the funerals, stays at the funeral home on guard,plays Taps, 21 gun salutes and presents flags to parents. I know this is hard on him but he says its the greatest Honor! I will keep your loved ones in my prayers. Thank you again, Micah
     

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