Feeling bad about killing pest, but what else can I do?

[sumi]

I had a mongoose on our property who started catching my chicks. The more it caught, the braver it'd get. The last 2 were snatched outside our back door with us around. In total I lost 9 chicks, 3 of them were chicks I had a special bond with, those you let into your heart... This happened 6 months ago. We built a chick pen with sink sheets and chicken wire, I couldn't let them run around anymore and I had 11 young ones living in the house with us for a few weeks, anything to keep them save. The mongoose then started going into the chicken house, stealing eggs. I was worried it'll attack my hens, so I made the tough decision to trap and kill it. Strangely killing it did not make me feel better, though I was so sad about my babies, I wanted nothing more.
Early this week I found another of my special chickens dead, I'm not going into detail, but it was bad. Though I'm heartbroken, I decided to leave the matter there. I didn't know for sure that it was another mongoose, though I did see one sniffing around awhile ago. Today I heard a commotion out in the pasture where my chickens were all running around. Two of my roosters was fighting of a huge mongoose. My husband and I ran like hell to help and the thing ran away, but I'm scared now. I'm going to set the trap again tomorrow. Wish I didn't have to. Wish I could turn back time and save my babies. I wish I had the perfect solution to this problem. I wish this thing would leave my chickens alone!!!!
And most of all I wish my heart will find forgiveness and heal

 

[sfw2]

As a chicken owner, one of the hardest things we sometimes have to do is take a predator's life. You have to balance the safety of your birds with the heaviness of your conscience. I think the best way to do that is to make the predator's death as quick and humane as possible.

 

[chi-rn]

You did what you had to do. I'm sorry this had to happen.