I feel your pain as well,
appletrails.
The description of your new Buff Orpington fits one of mine almost to a 'T'... well ... in some of her actions and appearance, at least. Mine doesn't stay out all night (she has a curfew...
), but she doesn't go into the henhouse until about an hour after all the other hens and rooster have retired for the night. The first night in this henhouse, I actually had to pick her up and place her in it. She certainly appeared as the outcast... though of my three BO hens she is by far the most people friendly of the group, which pains me even more!
My wife actually wants her to become a house pet, but I'm not into that (yet...anyway).
I've only had them for about two weeks and ended up separating them (which has now been 6 days) as described in my recent posting...
"A dysfunctional group of feathers". I've noticed an improvement in that there is less pecking on her now which also is aiding in the improvement of her appearance. Her roommate hen also seems to be getting friendlier as well. As these are my first chickens and BO's, I can't say with any certainty that it is because of this separation or their getting used to me and the new environment. Hopefully yours will work it out as well.
I think sometimes we just need to develop a little more patience with our compassion. Certainly, I do! Best of luck!