Teneniel
Songster
I am so sorry. My first rabbit butcher went that way as well and I felt so horrible. Please know you're not alone and you did your very best with what you had. She got so so so many good days with you. The balance of her life was phenomenal.
My day sounds almost exactly like yours! My little Easter Egger was in a bad way and I wanted to take care of it myself. My husband offered to but I felt it was time for me to own up to it. I watched videos and read articles, I almost tried the broomstick but I used my pellet gun. I will do that again. It's the first time I've ever killed anything and I feel wretched. I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic experience!