For dog/cat lovers...

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Poulets De Cajun, Dec 31, 2009.

  1. Poulets De Cajun

    Poulets De Cajun Overrun With Chickens

    This just made its way to my inbox. Thought it was worth forwarding...




    Dear dogs and cats,

    When I say "move," it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

    The dishes with paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
    dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find this aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a race track. Beating me to the bottom is not the objective. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think that I will continue to sleep on the couch to insure your comfort. Look at videos of cats and dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

    My Compact Discs are not Frisbees.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the door knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I've been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.

    The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

    To pacify you, I have posted the following message on our front door...

    Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

    1. They live here. You don't.

    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

    3. I like my pet a lot better than most people.

    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    5. Cats and dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
     
  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Dude!!! [​IMG] Long time no see.
     
  3. thechickenchick

    thechickenchick Born city, Living country

    Mar 8, 2008
    Eaton, Colorado
    I love that!!!! Thanks for the giggle! [​IMG]
     
  4. eggsrcool

    eggsrcool Sussex Fanatic

    [​IMG] I like this. Made me smile [​IMG]
     
  5. Bantimna

    Bantimna Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 29, 2009
    South Africa
    You have made my day I have been really if I can translate "Big Mouthed" today.
     
  6. dichotomymom

    dichotomymom Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 19, 2008
    Dayton Indiana
    I agree with most of it but if you invite me to your house and your dog jumps on me or sniffs my crotch, I don't think it's cute;)
     
  7. my1stchicks

    my1stchicks Chillin' With My Peeps

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    May 12, 2008
    North FL
    That is great!! And so like my furry housemates!
     
  8. Poulets De Cajun

    Poulets De Cajun Overrun With Chickens

    Quote:It's been a while hasn't it. I'm sure there are a few who are rolling their eyes and thinking "great..."... LOL
     
  9. Chickie'sMoma

    Chickie'sMoma Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 21, 2009
    Rochester, NH
    heh. i love that rant...er...informative letter. [​IMG]

    and how true is it about the full use of the bed. i have a little corgi and the few times i let him lay in bed with me before the dh comes to bed, the little fuzzball decides where you are trying to crawl under the covers is where he wants to claim as his till you decide to pick a different spot! and then that 'new' spot is still his!
     
  10. smileyfacecat

    smileyfacecat Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Jul 24, 2009
    Wrentham, MA
    [​IMG] [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     

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