Some stupid things I believe about the German language:
It always sounds like they are arguing fiercely.
When they came up with words/nouns for things, they just took all the spaces out of the description.
Half the Klingon language is German.
I always speak much better after a few beers or some of that cherry or plum liquor stuff the in-laws brew.
Don't mess up the tenses for "I am cold/hot" or "I live with so-and-so"...
and the best one (drum roll, please)
Ausfart ist nich ein grossen stadt! If you tell your husband that it is, while he is driving to your honeymoon in the black forest on the autobahn, he WILL choke and nearly drive off the road. And you will never live it down, not even decades later.
Ok, here's the story. We are driving to the Black Forest for our honeymoon. After a while of idle chatting, I decide to start reading roadsigns along the autobahn to practice my German. At the exit ramp pointing down to a riverside town is a little sign "Ausfarht". Ok, fine. Then we wind over the ridge and down to the river again. Another little sign pointing down the exit - ausfart. So is the next one. Idly I comment to my DH, wanting to show off how my skill is progressing - "Ausfart is a pretty big town, isn't it?" He nearly drives off the road laughing. Now mind you, he's driving at the maximum speed he can coax out of that car, because he can, it's the autobahn.