forgiving myself is sometimes the hardest

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I have to be honest and say that you just simply may NOT be forgiven...
depends on what you actually did to people.. .AND how many times you did it to them,...
Did people keep trying to forgive you and help you....yet you kept hurting them??
Sometimes people just HAVE to let you go and move on with their lives,...noone HAS to forgive/forget you for hurting them... its their choice.. And if they dont forgive you, it doesnt make them bad people... it just makes them human and not doormats..
I'm very glad that you seem to have changed and have remorse for what you have done,... thats whats most important. If you had no remorse, you would be a scary person indeed...
Sooo stay on the good path and DO ask for forgiveness to those you have hurt.... but you need to concentrate on yourself and think about WHY you hurt people...and HOW you can not do that anymore..
Good luck in life!
 
I do know that, with most of them it was only a one off mistake but I didn't realize how bad it was getting until I started to also lose my close friends. I don't know how my apologies have been received but I suppose it doesn't matter because apologizing was still the right thing to do. thank you redhen. I know that even though I have changed I can't undo what I did to others.
 
OK.

so far so good, I haven't been in any major 'trouble' for almost half a year now, good by my standards.
smile.png
 
It sounds like you are doing the best you can, and are doing your best to prevent the prior behavior. Best Wishes.
 
Here is something I have discovered....well first I did my share of hurting in the past. I repented (changed ways) and asked for forgiveness. There are those who forgive, and
others who don't. I do believe that it is much healthier to forgive which is what brings me to my point. I have been lied to, and hurt by a few people whom I trusted dearly
and loved considerably. It takes an effort, but I had to choose to forgive them to keep anger from becoming my main emotion. I used to believe that I could or would only forgive them if they stopped hurting me, but even that is incorrect and causes me to lose balance in my life. So I just shrug it off, and move forward, living my life the best I can and by trying to treat people the way I would want to be treated. We have to choose to forgive and forget. There is a Christian concept that we have to forgive to be forgiven, I tend to perceive it as we have to forgive to be well. When we harbor anger and unforgiving feelings, we aren't well....Don't fret over those who won't forgive you now. Forgive yourself and move forward, live your life to the best of your ability. They might discover later on in life it is in their best interests to forgive too.
hugs.gif
 
Quote:
for those you can't reach, and those who don't want to be reached, consider what you would do to make it right, then take that same thoughtfulness and energy and use it to help someone else.

here are some examples:

if you hurt someone by not listening, find someone to listen to... you can volunteer in a senior center or a hospital or VA center. there are always people there who have no family, or who's family have abandoned them... they can use an empethetic ear, someone who will listen to their stories, or read to them, or bring them some fresh flowers for their bedstand.

if you hurt someone by not helping them when they needed it, find someone else to help... volunteer at a church or a soup kitchen or habitat for humanity or whatever other organization you can find where you can be of service.

if you hurt someone by not contributing, find a way to contribute. work some extra hours and donate the money to a worthy chairity, or buy food and donate it to a food bank...

you get the idea.

part of what being a good friend to people is being thoughtful and figuring out what they need, assisting them in some way. since you can no longer do that for the individuals you hurt, turn your creativity and thoughtfulness to how to help someone else that really needs it. it's not just the time and effort, but also the act of empathy that helps you understand what they might need... not only will it help you feel you've made amends as best you can, it will teach you things that will make you a better friend to those you know now, and will know in the future.

hugs.gif
 

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