Foster Parents/ Adoption

[nayeli]

I have always wanted to adopt, but I wanted it to be my 2nd child so I could breastfeed them and give them all the same benefits as my bio child... I'm not even 21 yet and just had my 3rd miscarriage, so we are going to start the process as soon as we can after my birthday.

I really would like to connect with other foster parents. I have read stories but not so much on the process of being certified, privacy issues, parenting issues, etc. I want to get as much information as possible!

 

[Alice28]

My husband and I just signed up to do foster care orientation. I called the foster care hotline in are area. They sent packets with all the info you need. We have a four year old, but have always wanted to adopt. I didn't have a good pregnancy and ended up with a c section when my son didn't want to come out. We are hoping to be able to adopt through foster care. As soon as you find the right number to call they are very helpful! Atleast they have been where I live. We are really excited to get the ball rolling!

 

[Alice28]

Good luck! I live in california, but I'm sure just google foster care or foster care hotline. It took me awhile to find a number that finally was answered by a person. There are lots of kids who need a mommy and daddy and I'm sure the child will be very lucky to have you for a mom

 

[Alice28]

I did work at a group home for six years and have a home daycare, so I can give you a little bit of an idea of what will happen, although it might very a bit from state to state, but many of the same things that apply to daycares and group homes seem to apply to foster care from what my reading says. First you and your husband will do orientation, you will both be finger printed to make sure there haven't been any child abuse or other crimes on your record. You will have to fill out a packet with all the info about any crimes you have ever committed.... If any(my packet was mostly just n/a because I've only ever gotten a speeding ticket). After everything is processed you will get a call and they will do a home inspection. This was what scared me most about my daycare and I'm sure will be twice as scary when foster care comes through. My packets also said you have 24hrs of classes that cover everything and CPR as first aid. Not sure if I will have to take Cpr and first aid again or not.

 

[Rhandi74]

We fostered for 9 years and adopted 7 children. It is a long story why we adopted so many we had only planned on having 2 or 3 kids. In the state of TN you have to take Path classes, pass a background check, and have a home study. It took us about 4 months to become certified. You also have to maintain training hours each year. If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask. We no longer foster because we have a very large family.

 

[nayeli]

I emailed someone about fostering and haven't received a response. I guess we are just wondering how invasive the process is and how you can treat the fosters. I would prefer to treat them like I would my own children but I don't know if there are strict guidelines etc.

 

[nayeli]

... also I know this one might be somewhat taboo but what about breastfeeding. I don't have any communicable diseases so breastfeeding would be good for the baby and our state doesn't give much $ to take care of fosters so it would also help with that.

 

[Rhandi74]

Here in TN if you email someone they will never get back to you. We had to call DCS directly and ask when the PATH classes were. If you would like to speed up the process you should call them. Ask about when the classes are to become foster parents. We did not feel it was hard to get certified as foster parents just a little time consuming but in TN they offered night classes and weekend classes for people who worked. As for how you can treat the children, they prefer for you to treat them like your own. There is some rules like absolutely no physical punishments and you must get birth parents permission if you want to cut the child's hair. As for breast feeding they never stated any kind of rules on this. They will inform you that you're more likely to get a placement if you are willing to take older children. My youngest placement was 4 months but he ended up going with his Aunt in another state. My children came to me at all different ages the youngest age my adopted children were placed with us was 9 months and the oldest age was 8 years. Typically you will get a placement much faster if you are willing to take sibling groups or older children. Most infants go to immediate family or are drug addicted and very sick when they are placed in your home. Another thing to think about is that they will most likely be in foster care for at least 12 months before a decision is made on whether or not they are adopted or reunified with their birth parents. We fostered around 30 children and only one infant was long term because family members ended up taking them. They pressured us to take teenagers but we never did and we had plenty of placements. In my experience the hardest thing to deal with was the birth parents. Hope this answers your questions and feel free to ask more questions if you still have more.

 

[nayeli]

Thank you. It answers some. I heard there is a huge need for infant foster homes because so many people work and the states usually won't pay for daycare. I know it takes a while to get rights terminated, which I honestly wish they would shorten it because its not fair to the children who are left in limbo so long.... especially those whose parents aren't even working the plan! It also lowers the chance of them being adopted the older they get!

 

[Alice28]

I know the getting rights terminated has been shortened in infaints in many states due to bonding. You can check all this out for you spacific state and see. I agree parents right should be terminated faster. My aunt had a horrible experience I won't go into trying to adopt through foster care and the baby being given back to parents then taken away again. And Rhandi74 is right, don't bother emailing. Like I said, I spent over a month calling all different numbers that were listed until I finally got the right one and then they were very helpful. Good luck!