friendectomy

[chickensioux]

Honesty with kindness is always the best. No matter how you put it, it may sting. Start with "I'm really sorry and this is awkward but......"

 

[PineappleMama]

Agree with the others. What she's doing is criminal, it's fraud, and I've known someone who's had the hammer come down. Ironically when they hadn't actually done any wrong... waited until the first check came to report a check came... but evidently they were supposed to inform the office when you worked, NOT when you were paid, so they ended up paying back all assistance they'd gotten in any way over the months he couldn't find a job plus huge fines... wasn't pretty. And yet I see others doing like your friend, DH works but they claim he doesn't live there so they get free housing, free bill pay, free food, free medical, free everything... and all the while they're driving new vehicles every three years and wearing designer clothes... REALLY chaps me to see that so I steer clear just to avoid me going off on them. But also there's the chance that if the hammer comes down on them that you'll be dragged into it too... either investigated as being like them OR being asked to 'pitch in' once the cheese is cut off. Neither is worth it IMO.

I'd tell her straight out. I'm a straight arrow with no desire to be fined or jailed so I avoid folks who commit crimes and might drag me down with them. My DH and kids deserve better than that.

Of course the down side of being that honest is that if they ever do get caught, random checks are done, then you'll be the first one they blame for their (totally unjust of course) downfall. If you're the paranoid sort you might want to pick a non-legally type of reason... do you have kids? If not then maybe that could be a thing? Not comfy around them... or if you want kids but don't have any than maybe being around hers.. even listening to her brag on them is hard for you... ahhh... I donno. Something so that if the fit hits the shan they don't come after you as a snitch... that's precisely why I've never mentioned why I avoid those certain folks... don't want to be dragged into their nightmare... and as to why I don't rat them out... the kids, pure and simple. Without those funds who knows what kind of hellish existence those kids would have. I can't provide for them, and not my job to, but doesn't stop me from worrying that if I did the 'right thing' that they would suffer for it. *shrug*

 

[rancher hicks]

Quote:
Yeah but in this case it would be. " I'm really sorry and this is awkward but , you and your husband are crooks and that is the most obvious boob job I've ever seen. Too bad we tax payers had to pay for them. I'd rather not have anything to do with you and your pumped up ta tas'. "

 

[melloladies]

OH- you are all good people

I thought maybe it was just me. At one point I was talking about wanting the Xbox with Kinect and she was like "yeah, I think we are gunna get that too, when my grant money comes in"

Cause she gets a govt grant to go back to school. I can't get any help for school, and I'm a very good, stable, law-abiding (minus my chickens- don't judge me!) citizen!!

That's really when it hit me. I can't do this anymore! I can't stand by and just nod and smile like this is okay! But I really hate confrontation. I could write a letter... I could send a text.... I can't stand to call her.

She called me every thursday for 3 weeks, and I finally feel guilty enough that I answer. ( I was raised Catholic, okay?) I need to break the cycle!

I'm comfortable with the awkward- so thanks for that idea! I think I'll start with that...Next time she calls

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Well now, there's an idea. Honesty.
The only problem I have with that is- really- if someone told you those things.... it would still hurt. Nobody likes to be told "hey! I don't like you!"
I know tact is not one of my strengths... so I doubt I could have a conversation with her, and have her walk away not thinking it was a witch.

I agree.. i would just keep avoiding her..

 

[melloladies]

What month are we in? July now?
For those of you who were so kind and offered me advice- I just wanted to update the melodrama.
I ignored. She showed up at my work. TWICE. (she curses, ALOT- so her being in my place of work is embarrassing) I told her I was busy and ya, ya, ya.
It had been a month since I heard from her, when today, I get a text:

Her: What's up? Any plans this weekend?

Me: Why haven't you written me off yet? (I thought it best to be direct)

Her: lmao I guess I can if u want

Me: Might be better. I feel guilty that you always want to hang out and I just don't have the time or the energy. I think we just have a different focus. Thanks for being a good friend~ Sorry I can't be a better one.

Her: I am not quite sure how to take that. But ok I guess

And so I think it is finally over.

 

[seminolewind]

That sounded like the perfect end to an unwanted friendship!