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Karen, that is such better parenting than throwing a fit. I think good parenting is choosing your battles, right?
I'm a pretty laid back parent. My friends thought I was crazy for letting my kids pick out their own clothes and dress themselves in preschool (they did come up with some pretty bizarre get-ups) and making them fix their own drinks and snacks (the older kids are allowed to use the stove and *gasp* sharp knives). Now those same friends are insanely jealous of how independant my kids are.
I try not to stress about stuff that doesn't matter. When the kids are grown and gone, I'm getting nice carpet, new furniture and nice decorations to hang on the walls. In the meantime...they live here too, so there's a nice round stain on the carpet where Ella upended a shampoo bottle, or the purple marker on my ottoman from Matthew and Jackie spilled glitter glue on her dresser. I could go on...like the burn on the dining room table when Ella accidently caught it on fire, ketchup on the ceiling and kool-aid stains on the dining room curtains...
They're only little once
ETA: The battles I usually fight involve their safety and their future. Seatbelts must be worn, stay with me in public, be polite, don't give personal information to strangers, brush your teeth, take showers, be nice to other people and animals, do your homework and I better not see any bad grades or discipline problems from school.
My oldest was out of underwear and wore bathing suit bottoms to school in lieu of underwear.
I hope she doesn't tell anyone.