Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[FireTigeris]

Tourist:
Where are you really from?

Me:
Here...

Tourist:
No really? You speak English.

Me:
My family was given a land grant 250 years ago for 280+ acres of swamp... we helped build the area, we dropped our shrimping nets when the city burned to ferry people across the river, we originally settled this area while Jim Crow was still in effect and our neighbors got less land because of what color they were and our two communities are still here...

Tourist:
You mean people LIVE here?

Me:
Well the Timucuana 'indians''/first Americans/original immigrants' LIVED here too-

Tourist:
But its FL...

Me:
Sooooo?!

Tourist:
But you aren't old or in Orlando.

Me:
Clearly.

Tourist:
What do you do?

Me:
I tutor children in at risk families and special needs children so they can do better at school.

Tourist:
They have schools here?!

Me:
---walked away---

Edit 4 Spelling- 'rant' IS a word but makes less sense then 'grant'.

 

[justbugged]

Quote:
OMG I SO need a life... or at least a less morbid sense of humor... my first thought was...

Considering you bought the farm five years ago you type amazingly well.

Then again, I consider some of Robert Jordan's greatest words to be...

If you must mount the gallows, give a jest to the crowd, a coin to the hangman, and make the drop with a smile on your lips.

So there ya go.

Okay, so my son is behind me on the other puter playing a game... he's connected by headset to a British lad... and I just heard him say "My home is cereal and is more comfortable than your chicken"

I am SOOOO lost... I mean, I know parents aren't poda understand their kids... but even the Brit can't understand THAT!

bahahahaha..I have a 14 yr old and he said its not cereal but serial, he says it means comfortable/cool...I don't know I don't understand their lingo half the time. Half of my family are brits (the other half are all spanish)and I never understand when my nieces or nephews are talking to their peers.. I literally have to tell them to speak English, you know the kind the rest of us will understand. BUt according to my son they can understand each other just fine :-/

When I get tired of them talking to me in their lingo I just mock them till they say...ok so you are so not cool!!!! I like to constantly repeat the words in a bimbo voice...OMG...like that is fah realz, sweet, that's hot, my job is done as soon as they get the "I am mortified" look on their faces...LOL...

speaking of typing exceptionally well. She almost had a cow when I told her I was going to home school my children, (which I did try but my daughter doesn't listen to me that well :-S) and I never mentioned that the first thing she asked me about the farm was whether we had electricity out here...lol...Imean I showed her a photo of the farm and in the photo ther eis a huge hydro pole in front of the property

she readded me on facebook, still on waiting for confirmation, I sent her a message which only said " I WILL THINK ABOUT IT!!" LMAO!!!

I home-schooled both of my kids until they went to the community college at the age of 16. I don't recall ever having a real school moment during those years, but I do remember telling my daughter that if she didn't learn, then I wasn't going to be stupid one. She had to think about that one for a while. Then she got busy with the math book. I still don't understand how my son managed to be ready for any college level class, but he got 2 years under his belt. The DD just graduated from the UofW this June with a BS degree in Technical Writing. All I think I ever was is facilitator for their education. I only have a high-school degree, and I know the kids are academically smarter than either my DH or I. We did teach them common sense, and how to work. My son still has way to much fun working for the County's road department.

I have to say I am sure that in order to understand the language that is emerging with text messaging, I going to need to use Google a lot.

 

[luvchicks8]

Well today my DH and his friend were out building my new coop and my dog alerted to people out front. So I went to see who was at my house and there were tourist (hardly spoke english) who were smiling and snapping pics of my birds free ranging. SO I said they could come into the driveway and take a few pics. After I convinced them my chickens don't attack, the female says oh oh look at that is that a zebra? Looking very confused she pointed at my barred rock hen. Then the geese came out and I didn't think they were going to leave they were amazed that these birds run free in my yard.

 

[MattalynsBarn]

Quote:
Hahahahahahahaha!!! That's awesome!

 

[FrizzleFreak]

Quote:
Dude, I want a zebra! Only, it has to be small, cause I don't want to feed it much. And those big stripes? Too tacky, let's reduce it a bit. And add feathers. Everything's better with feathers.

 

[CalebtheChicken]

Quote:
I have two zebras

 

[Gallusfarm]

I just found this thread - awesome!

My husband had never heard of a boll weevil and then gave me a hard time about being from the country when I told him all about them...

 

[Debbi]

I grew up in the suburbs of CT. None of my family was "into" farm type animals. When I grew up, and moved to Missouri, I started gathering some farm animals; Nubian milk goats, sheep, chickens, rabbits, calves, etc. When I got interested in hunting, I would tell my Mom about what season was coming up. "Yes, it's squirrel season, rabbit season, turkey season, deer season". One spring I was out collecting Poke greens. For you that may not have Poke in your area, it grows wild, is a tall big leafed plant that later develops purple berries. It is delicious when soaked, blanched, and cooked properly. Tastes very much like fresh spinach. If you don't do it correctly, it will make you deathly ill! Anyhow, I was on the phone telling my Mom, "oh great, it's now time for Poke season!". Long silence...then she says, "you mean they have a season for THAT TOO!!" I about fell off the chair laughing! I will never forget that one!

 

[mylittlechickpea]

When I was first telling a friend of mine about my new chicken and how ecstatic I am waiting for her to come of laying age, he asked me what I was going to do with the egg.... Eat it, I told him.

His face turned in disgust and he told me how gross it was and that I just made him sick... He asked if I had to do anything special for the preparation of it, and thought it was the most disgusting thing ever to eat an egg from a chicken....

And a few days ago, hubby saw me making a scrambled egg and putting it in the freezer.. He asked why, and I told him as a treat for Chickpea... His face turned too. And he raised an eyebrow. And told me I was turning her into a cannibal

I tried explaining to him and he said that every egg is baby chicken.....

 

[luvchicks8]

Quote:
I have two zebras