Funniest Things A City Slicker Has Ever Said To You?

[KristyHall]

Quote:
I get the opposite! People only want brown eggs because brown eggs are 'organic' and white eggs are 'store bought'..... um.... so my white eggs don't sell but I'll be darned if I can't get double for my teeny tiny little bantam EE eggs. You know, because blue is 'organic' as well. oooookay.

Just slap a gourmet label on it and point out celebrity chefs use the small eggs in garnishes and you can charge a fortune.

 

[faykokoWV]

two favorites

how do you have time to raise chicks, it must be so hard to keep them fed? Do you buy the worms to feed them or do you have to dig them up




When explaining selling hatching egg

You sell you eggs $20 a doz.? I can't belive people would pay to have eggs shipped when they can go to the store to get them. They must taste really really good!

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
We have a lot of feral hogs around here and I see them dead on the side of the road all the time. I am just waiting to drive up on one still kicking, so I can finish the job and take that sucker home and start butchering. Bar-B-Q road kill YUM YUM!

A couple of city women hit a deer in front of my drive way. They were standing outside of the car, dressed very nice in expensive clothes and heels with Gucci bags. I stopped in my driveway and the deer was still alive but way too injured to live. They asked me what they should do and I said they could make a police report or just report it to their insurance. they were upset and didn't want to leave the deer to suffer so i said "don't worry about it" I started to call a neighbor to help me kill and butcher it but these two boys pulled over in their truck and you can tell just by looking at them that they were the hunter types. I said "hey i was just about to call a hunter over to dress out the deer. if you want the meat why don't you take it" and these women were looking horrified. one asked " hat will you do with it." and i said " eat it " and the women looked like they were going to be sick. the hunter boys pulled out a gun and they said " well i'll let you ladies walk away first" and I just smiles and got into my car the women RAN to their car and sped off. I heard the gun shot and just kept thinking how glad I was the deer wasn't going to go to waste since I don't have the freezer room for the meat. I was not gonna leave until the animal was finished off humanely and the meat taken by someone who could use it. A lot of people around here depend on hunting to stretch their food budget and often share meat with the less fortunate. It made sense to us though it obviously didn't to the nicely dressed ladies

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
Tom cat = male
Tom turkey = male

duh

Tom boy = girl

oooo good one

 

[KristyHall]

A.T. Hagan :

Quote:
What about the hemeroids??

One does not give them to chickens. Chickens give them to YOU.

I'm frightened to ask just exactly what are you doing with chickens to get hemeroids from them!

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
I think, if i remember correctly from college, they roll the eggs through a hot water bath consistently for a certain amount of time and temperature. It never made sense to me how or why that manages to pasteurize them, but I don't think the food industry always makes sense anyway.
This! this is why we get weird comments about eggs people!
The strange non informative videos they show in schools. It's evil! it's a curse it's cruel it's... hey look a chicken *wanders off*

(we need a sarcasm font)

I believe that in order to pasteurize something you need to raise the temperature to 160 degrees. That is hot enough to kill salmonella and yet not cook the egg. So a hot water bath would be one way of getting the job done. And it would be a cheap way of doing it too.

Like I said it had something to do with keeping the eggs moving at all time so they would reach 160 degrees but don't solidify inside like a soft boiled egg. It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I am sure if I understood physics a bit more it would.

 

[KristyHall]

Quote:
Yeah he is. Both my niece and nephew have this incredible ability to come upon logical answers much faster than many adults I know.

 

[Imp]

For eggs they only go to 130*F. Here's some info:

Whole Eggs Pasteurized in the Shell - Traditionally, eggs sold to customers in the shell have not been pasteurized. However, new time/temperature pasteurization methods are making this possible. Egg whites coagulate at 140°F (60°C). Therefore, heating an egg above 140°F would cook the egg, so processors pasteurize the egg in the shell at a low temperature, 130°F (54°C), for a long time, 45 minutes. This new process is being used by some manufacturers, but it is not yet widely available. Pasteurizing eggs reduces the risk of contamination from pathogenic bacteria, such as Salmonella, which can cause severe illness and even death. Pasteurized eggs in the shell may be used in recipes calling for raw eggs, such as Caesar salad, hollandaise or béarnaise sauces, mayonnaise, egg nog, ice cream, and egg-fortified beverages that are not thoroughly cooked.

Keep in mind it only greatly reduces any potential risk. It does not make eggs sterile.

Imp

 

[elizabethbinary]

Quote:
Who on earth is putting raw egg in their Caesar salad?? It's supposed to be poached. Anyway....

Why does that quote say 'new time/temperature' methods? Milk has two ways of being pasteurized - a hot process and a cold process. The second is very very similar to this method and has been used for quite awhile. Considering the first passes milk through metal tubes and heats it really hot really quickly, it doesn't seem very logical to work on eggs. But I digress and am probably preaching to the darn choir.

 

[Imp]

Quote:
Who on earth is putting raw egg in their Caesar salad?? It's supposed to be poached. Anyway....

Why does that quote say 'new time/temperature' methods? Milk has two ways of being pasteurized - a hot process and a cold process. The second is very very similar to this method and has been used for quite awhile. Considering the first passes milk through metal tubes and heats it really hot really quickly, it doesn't seem very logical to work on eggs. But I digress and am probably preaching to the darn choir.

In some of the classic Caesar Salad recipes, there are raw eggs in the dressing.

There are many ways pasteurization is used for many different foods:
Here's the link to the sight I copied from

http://www.foodsafetysite.com/educators/competencies/general/foodprocessing/processing2.html

Imp