Ready to bust your butt laughing????
Okay, so one day, i come home from school, and I run around the house with my backpack and all. I stop at the patio to drop my stuff off, and I'm watching my dog pestering our chickens. We were pretty sure that the grown Rhode Island Reds could fend for themselves, but we kept an eye out because we had two little baby roosters--about a month old, for both of them. Columbus was the bigger, braver one. Sparky was the smaller, quicker one.
So, my dog is sniffing at Sparky, and he runs fast as he can into the coop, my fat dog trotting after him. Columbus is hanging out wif the hens. Sparky jumps up this ladder we made so the chickens could get on a shelf to roost, and begins hopping up the big planks.
For the first two weeks, my dog was at a loss, lying boredly in the ground, but watching the chickens intently, plotting, I guessed.
But one Thursday afternoon, the dog summons up the courage to go inside the coop--with the vicious hens inside. One of our hens who thinks she's a rooster--Danielle (Dani)--is roosting and the others are just wandering around.
Sparky and Columbus are sitting on the planks of the wood ladder, and the hens start flapping out of the coop, smacking the dog in the head. It was funny, the dog whimpered and whined and walked over to the dung pile in the corner and starts sniffing it.
The dung pile is under the ladder. Sparky, Columbus, and a hen we call Fat Alberta were just hanging there staring at the dog.
Then guess what?
You probably guessed right.
Fat Alberta looks up for a second and then....pfffffffffffft!!! The dog has a pile of chicken dung slapped right on her head.
The dog runs out of the coop and begins the staring thing again.
Later in the evening, the dog comes up to the coop, and wriggles under the fence.
She's in.
The chickens aren't on their roosting shelf. They're on the second to lowest shelf, a foot or two over the dog's head.
The dog didn't see anything but Columbus, who had hit the jackpot with a pile of food in the corner. He was pecking at it hastily, and the dog nudged the chick with her snout.
Columbus looked up and shrieked a chicky scream.
bar-bar-baaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaack
Then there was a sound.....
pffffffffffffffffffffffft!--pffffttt!----pffffffffffffffft!---pffffft!
I'd never seen so much chicken poo fall at once--all on a dog, too.
Then the hens start going crazy!
They're flying around and pooing in the air, swooping by the dog, and pooing. This kept on going until the dog fled, a little cut by the claws of the hens, terd-covered, and whooped.
She ran under that fence and got stuck.
Wasn't bad. She just needed to wriggle some more, but she was too exhausted too.
The hen we call Dani waltzes right up to the dog, turns, poos, and then pecks the dog's hindquarters.
aaaarrrooof! Whined the dog.
Dani jumped back, her comrades and roommates.
Fat Alberta comes up next, right next to the improper butt in their coop.
I nearly busted my but laughing, after this.
Fat Alberta flapped her wings, spanking the dog ruffly, and the dog whimpers and struggles away from the spanking.
More spanking.
Even more spanking.
arrroooo! wooof, wooooof! owuuu! owww! the dog whimpers.
Then a full fledged bark when Sparky starts pecking at the butt. The hens retreat into the safety of their coop.
The dog starts wriggling like mad. Within a second, she is out and she waddles right up to the patio, looking real funny with all the white-terds on her, and how she walked so awkwardly, and her head was tinted reddish, from all the beatings.
Dad hoses her off, and patches up the few cuts.
He says to the dog, "Those chickens are going to get you again if you don't stay outta that coop! They already whooped you once, girl!"
And when he and the dog looked toward the coop, the hens were standing with their chests swelled, all in a straight line against the fence.
Payback.
Okay, sorry if some of you didn't like it, but i died of laughter when it did happen.
