Funny fart stories: you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gag!!
- Thread starter JennsPeeps
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Then is this your picture?
Then is this your picture?
That is so funny I could picture them standing there taking deep wiffes there trying to figure out what kind of problems the car had.
- Mar 14, 2009
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It's not normally like me to make a post like this my first post but the thread is so funny I had to add to it. I have a few stories and to give you a little background on me I am one of those guys that also find anything and everything to do with a fart to be some of the most hilarious things in life as my wife and kids can tell you.
1. We took my mom to the mall nearby once and we stopped at an incense booth for my mom to look around and after about 20 minutes of my mom talking to the guy at the register I was tired of standing around. I had eaten a load of boiled cabbage and porkchops the night before and washed it down with a few Newcastle Brown Ales so I had been deadly all day. I walked around to the side where my mom was and stood right next to her and let loose "a letter from a turd" that felt hot all the way up my back on the way out while I secretly flapped the top of my pants gently and then I walked back around the other side where my wife was standing. At this point I was fighting my urge to gaffaw with everything I had and then my mom comes around with a horrified look on her face and says "Bryan!! You should have seen the look on his face. He thought that was me. Do you realize how embarrassed I am???" I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and couldn't talk for at least 10 minutes.
2. My BIL and I were in Radio Shack once a few years ago and they had a stereo in the back of the store playing techno music and the song had alot of bass so naturally when I felt the urge to let one rip I figured the music would easily cover it up. WOuldn't you know that right when I decided to let it out the song would have a 5 second pause. With the sudden loss of music the fart seemed to be amplified. Needless to say the entire store cleared out in a matter of seconds. My BIL still brings that up once in a while.
3. Here's a few things you can do when you want to "share" in bed. You can tell your spouse that you are gonna spit up in the air and if they don't pull the cover over their head it will land on them and once they do, they find the landmine you left under there for them. Either that or you can let one go silently and lift your leg up slowly to pull air in to spread the gas appropriately and then lift the covers a bit while dropping your leg so that it blasts out right in their face. I usually get a few kicks, punches, and pinches from my wife for doing that. Last but not least, let one go silently and then ask them with a straight face, "Do you smell something burning?"
4. For those of you that are like me, (no shame whatsoever) you can always leave an extremely foul smelling toilet bomb for the next time your spouse goes to the master bathroom. Master bath is best because it's almost guaranteed to hit the right person just because most people use the guest bathroom instead of the master bath.
1. We took my mom to the mall nearby once and we stopped at an incense booth for my mom to look around and after about 20 minutes of my mom talking to the guy at the register I was tired of standing around. I had eaten a load of boiled cabbage and porkchops the night before and washed it down with a few Newcastle Brown Ales so I had been deadly all day. I walked around to the side where my mom was and stood right next to her and let loose "a letter from a turd" that felt hot all the way up my back on the way out while I secretly flapped the top of my pants gently and then I walked back around the other side where my wife was standing. At this point I was fighting my urge to gaffaw with everything I had and then my mom comes around with a horrified look on her face and says "Bryan!! You should have seen the look on his face. He thought that was me. Do you realize how embarrassed I am???" I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and couldn't talk for at least 10 minutes.
2. My BIL and I were in Radio Shack once a few years ago and they had a stereo in the back of the store playing techno music and the song had alot of bass so naturally when I felt the urge to let one rip I figured the music would easily cover it up. WOuldn't you know that right when I decided to let it out the song would have a 5 second pause. With the sudden loss of music the fart seemed to be amplified. Needless to say the entire store cleared out in a matter of seconds. My BIL still brings that up once in a while.
3. Here's a few things you can do when you want to "share" in bed. You can tell your spouse that you are gonna spit up in the air and if they don't pull the cover over their head it will land on them and once they do, they find the landmine you left under there for them. Either that or you can let one go silently and lift your leg up slowly to pull air in to spread the gas appropriately and then lift the covers a bit while dropping your leg so that it blasts out right in their face. I usually get a few kicks, punches, and pinches from my wife for doing that. Last but not least, let one go silently and then ask them with a straight face, "Do you smell something burning?"
4. For those of you that are like me, (no shame whatsoever) you can always leave an extremely foul smelling toilet bomb for the next time your spouse goes to the master bathroom. Master bath is best because it's almost guaranteed to hit the right person just because most people use the guest bathroom instead of the master bath.
- Jun 4, 2008
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I'm gonna leave now since I'm gonna eat soon!
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Ditto and a huge welcome.... I am splitting my sides laughing....tis true you have no shame......
Ditto and a huge welcome.... I am splitting my sides laughing....tis true you have no shame......
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OMG my husband does the exact same thing in Wal-Mart, I think they could be long lost brothers!!!!
OMG my husband does the exact same thing in Wal-Mart, I think they could be long lost brothers!!!!
Hello new comer.
You'll fit riiiiiight in.
You'll fit riiiiiight in.
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