Kevin, your my Amiga, and I do care about what happens to you. You sound depressed. This can be from diet, chemical imbalance, or dealing with issues that have happened to you and your not talking about.
You have guys issues, so you need to love you without them until your complete alone. Two halves, when they are people, do NOT make a whole. Two whole people make a perfect sphere.
Your not eating right, and I'm not kidding about you seeing a nutritionist. You really need to either take a vegan ed. in eating class, or see a real nutrition person. Totally not kidding, cause I doubt your eating right. I was an educated vegan, and I've taken nutrition. You sound like your not well fed. You might eat a lot, but is it what your poor body needs to be eating? Are you eating nuts, whole grains, and soy in quantity? Are you eating whole fresh fruits in veggies (min. 1.5 real cups of each per day, in 5 different colors) Where are you getting calcium, potassium, and salt for your sodium potassium pumps in your cells? If your not feeding yourself at the cellular level, you are failing your cells, and they'll starve, and you too. Not shrivel and die starve, malnutrition starve. Die of heart failure due to insufficient potassium starve. You HAVE TO HAVE CALCIUM. Are you eating 1 cup of broccoli daily for it??? Are you eating 1 c. of tofu???
Do you E X C E R C I S E ?????? You so totally must swim/walk/bike/play physical games, walk the dogs etc for absolutely 30 minutes 4 x per week. Your body Needs this. It prevents osteoporosis, diabetes, heart disease, and depression.
OK, done for now. Love ya.