This is something that happened to us recently and I still think about what I could have done better. So its not really a rant about a crazy neighbor, its more of a confession of my own
lol
If you guys can please hear me out and share your story to inspire me to be a better neighbor next time around.
My family and myself have been living in our house in the suburbs for about 5 years. (Subdivision)
One day this lady came to the door. DH was at work and only my children and I were home at that time. She was an elderly probably in 70s. She had a pair of long shears that you use to cut tree branches in her hand. I thought she must have been in a middle of her yard work like many of us were in the neighborhood so I opened the door.
She seemed too excited to speak rationally, but what I got out was that a brown dog killed her cat. And she believed it was our dogs doing, and she told me she came to kill our dog with her shears. I tried to explain to her that I didnt think it was our dog because Zoe stays with us in the house with a fenced in yard. We would know if she got loose long enough to kill anything.
She got even angrier and she started yelling at me to get the dog so she could snip it in half. I couldnt close the door because she was standing in the doorway looking in to see if the dog was there. I couldnt leave there to get to the phone because I was scared she would just come in and I wasnt about to call one of my children to bring the phone to where I was. Everything happened so unexpectedly and fast and I panicked. So basically I was just standing there trying to block her from coming into the house and yelling at her to get our of my house.
Luckily our neighbor came by. He knew her when he was a child, and managed to get her attention by calling her by her name. She stepped away from the door to tell him her story so I shut the door then. The lady turned out to be someone who lives with her cat about 20 houses down from us. My DH and I were going to visit her with flowers or something and let her know that we are sorry that her cat was killed and explain one last time that it couldnt have been our dog that killed her cat, and also apologize about me raising my voice at her.
One good thing we found out later was that her cat wasnt killed. She saw a brown dog chasing her cat recently and was really upset about it, and when my 11 yrs DS was walking our brown dog, Zoe, she decided to follow him home. When she found out where we lived, she came back with her shears. Since her cat was okay, we decided not to have a visit. We thought it was for the best if we leave it alone.
I know what she did was wrong and she may even have gotten in trouble if we called police. We didnt call police on her because we take our familys safety lightly. It was a conscious decision my DH and I made based on the belief that this was an isolated incident. She wasnt a troublemaker in the neighborhood who pulls this type of stunts often. She was just really upset because it was about her cat which was the only family to her. She knew us just as much as we knew her, nothing. As far as she was concerned we could have been the crazy neighbors that let this mean brown beast loose so he can feast on cats!
Our dream of moving into the countryside has finally started coming together. (Financial and timing aspect of it)
In addition to valuable chicken info, I enjoy reading posts about the lives in the country on BYC forum. And I occasionally see posts about things people do about problems in their neighborhood. Shooting wandering dogs, calling police on neighbor kids who come into the property, etc. I never took those stories to heart till after this happened.
When our dream finally happens, we most definitely will be those folks who are clueless to some common sense in the farmlands and will make mistakes. But we do look forward having good neighbor relations.
Our life on subdivision right now is uneventful except for kids ringing our doorbells constantly asking our kids to play. Everyones gone most of the day but we do get along just about everyone.
I was pretty confident that I had good neighbor skills till this time. Looking back at my behavior, there are so many regrets.
I got impatient when she started accusing my dog of killing her cat when I knew it didnt. So when she got very emotional and started with me I got bit more than irritated. She was barely able to rise the shears with her both hands, she probably couldnt do any harm even she tried. But out of panic I raised my voice and told her to "get out" to her face.
Hopefully we will be approached kindly when and if my kids cross our property lines not realizing that our new neighbors yards are often bigger than their school playground, or when they found our neighbors animals to be cute and different and are just too irresistible not to go near.
But even when we find ourselves in less than desirable situations, I know I will react more graciously than I did to this lady
It didnt matter what she did or said. I know now that I had choices to make. I could have stepped out and shut the door behind so my children wouldnt be involved. And started off by asking her name and introduced myself first instead of getting defensive.
So here is my 'shoulda coulda woulda' looong story.
Thanks for listening
If you guys can please hear me out and share your story to inspire me to be a better neighbor next time around.
My family and myself have been living in our house in the suburbs for about 5 years. (Subdivision)
One day this lady came to the door. DH was at work and only my children and I were home at that time. She was an elderly probably in 70s. She had a pair of long shears that you use to cut tree branches in her hand. I thought she must have been in a middle of her yard work like many of us were in the neighborhood so I opened the door.
She seemed too excited to speak rationally, but what I got out was that a brown dog killed her cat. And she believed it was our dogs doing, and she told me she came to kill our dog with her shears. I tried to explain to her that I didnt think it was our dog because Zoe stays with us in the house with a fenced in yard. We would know if she got loose long enough to kill anything.
She got even angrier and she started yelling at me to get the dog so she could snip it in half. I couldnt close the door because she was standing in the doorway looking in to see if the dog was there. I couldnt leave there to get to the phone because I was scared she would just come in and I wasnt about to call one of my children to bring the phone to where I was. Everything happened so unexpectedly and fast and I panicked. So basically I was just standing there trying to block her from coming into the house and yelling at her to get our of my house.
Luckily our neighbor came by. He knew her when he was a child, and managed to get her attention by calling her by her name. She stepped away from the door to tell him her story so I shut the door then. The lady turned out to be someone who lives with her cat about 20 houses down from us. My DH and I were going to visit her with flowers or something and let her know that we are sorry that her cat was killed and explain one last time that it couldnt have been our dog that killed her cat, and also apologize about me raising my voice at her.
One good thing we found out later was that her cat wasnt killed. She saw a brown dog chasing her cat recently and was really upset about it, and when my 11 yrs DS was walking our brown dog, Zoe, she decided to follow him home. When she found out where we lived, she came back with her shears. Since her cat was okay, we decided not to have a visit. We thought it was for the best if we leave it alone.
I know what she did was wrong and she may even have gotten in trouble if we called police. We didnt call police on her because we take our familys safety lightly. It was a conscious decision my DH and I made based on the belief that this was an isolated incident. She wasnt a troublemaker in the neighborhood who pulls this type of stunts often. She was just really upset because it was about her cat which was the only family to her. She knew us just as much as we knew her, nothing. As far as she was concerned we could have been the crazy neighbors that let this mean brown beast loose so he can feast on cats!
Our dream of moving into the countryside has finally started coming together. (Financial and timing aspect of it)
In addition to valuable chicken info, I enjoy reading posts about the lives in the country on BYC forum. And I occasionally see posts about things people do about problems in their neighborhood. Shooting wandering dogs, calling police on neighbor kids who come into the property, etc. I never took those stories to heart till after this happened.
When our dream finally happens, we most definitely will be those folks who are clueless to some common sense in the farmlands and will make mistakes. But we do look forward having good neighbor relations.
Our life on subdivision right now is uneventful except for kids ringing our doorbells constantly asking our kids to play. Everyones gone most of the day but we do get along just about everyone.
I was pretty confident that I had good neighbor skills till this time. Looking back at my behavior, there are so many regrets.
I got impatient when she started accusing my dog of killing her cat when I knew it didnt. So when she got very emotional and started with me I got bit more than irritated. She was barely able to rise the shears with her both hands, she probably couldnt do any harm even she tried. But out of panic I raised my voice and told her to "get out" to her face.
Hopefully we will be approached kindly when and if my kids cross our property lines not realizing that our new neighbors yards are often bigger than their school playground, or when they found our neighbors animals to be cute and different and are just too irresistible not to go near.
But even when we find ourselves in less than desirable situations, I know I will react more graciously than I did to this lady
It didnt matter what she did or said. I know now that I had choices to make. I could have stepped out and shut the door behind so my children wouldnt be involved. And started off by asking her name and introduced myself first instead of getting defensive.
So here is my 'shoulda coulda woulda' looong story.
Thanks for listening
