>> 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful
>> eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After
>> she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
>> Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably
>> neverput lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet
>> paper good-bye...
>>
>> 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
>> asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a
>> moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
>>
>> 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
>> slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
>> the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
>> Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
>> putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
>> heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
>>
>> 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
>> childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing
>> made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
>> pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
>> wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten
>> to know you sooner!"
>>
>> 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
>> how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No,
>> how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
>>
>> 6 A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
>> processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
>> asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
>>
>> 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
>> decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
>> was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
>> continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think
>> you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"
>>
>> 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
>> lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
>> Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
>> whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us
>> with flashlights."
>>
>> 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
>> not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm
>> 4 to 6."
>>
>> 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
>> grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
>> The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
>> "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple,"
>> replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
>>
>> 11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
>> said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
>> pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know
>> what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently.
>> 'It means carrying a child."
>>
>> 12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home
>> one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the
>> fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
>> duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said
>> another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument
>> to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
>> hydrants.."
>>
>> 13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.. "Oh," he
>> said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get
>> her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the
>> airport."
>>
>> 14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good
>> things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
>>
>> 15... My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas
>> leaks, and they blame their dog.
>>
>> eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After
>> she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
>> Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably
>> neverput lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet
>> paper good-bye...
>>
>> 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
>> asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a
>> moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
>>
>> 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
>> slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
>> the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
>> Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
>> putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
>> heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
>>
>> 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
>> childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing
>> made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
>> pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
>> wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten
>> to know you sooner!"
>>
>> 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
>> how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No,
>> how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
>>
>> 6 A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
>> processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
>> asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
>>
>> 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
>> decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
>> was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
>> continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think
>> you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"
>>
>> 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
>> lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
>> Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
>> whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us
>> with flashlights."
>>
>> 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
>> not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm
>> 4 to 6."
>>
>> 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
>> grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
>> The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
>> "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple,"
>> replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
>>
>> 11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
>> said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
>> pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know
>> what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently.
>> 'It means carrying a child."
>>
>> 12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home
>> one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the
>> fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
>> duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said
>> another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument
>> to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
>> hydrants.."
>>
>> 13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.. "Oh," he
>> said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get
>> her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the
>> airport."
>>
>> 14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good
>> things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
>>
>> 15... My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas
>> leaks, and they blame their dog.
>>
