Thanks Bama, It is really difficult. I have to be Switzerland and can't voice my own opinion or someone is going to be pissed. I told everyone of them the other night during the big blow up (I tried staying in my room or the barn) to leave me out of this shit. It's sad really, seeing a younger person waste their life for pot, and doesn't give a shit if it destroys his parents marriage as long as he has his Mommy taking up and paying for every damn thing for him.We all vent on here sometimes. It's good to have a sounding board when you're trying to make a hard decision. It sounds like you already know what's gonna work best for you, I spent 14 years alone, and had serious doubts that I would ever be able to live with anyone before my hubs came along.
It would drive me bat crap crazy to deal with a bunch of drama like that. I got a mean bone if you push my buttons too hard, and find a good deal of solace and security being alone. Look for a place of your own before it hits the fan at your brothers. Check the papers and maybe look for a senior person who needs a helper in exchange for rent. You might still be able to live in the country that way. Might even save some $ on rent.
When you get ready to move out you should be honest with them, they are so used to being dysfunctional they dont realize how it looks to others. I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle.