hum instructions do say not to test on humans.

Actually that is what this one is for.

insert maniacal laughter and gleefully rubbing of hands together
Quoting from instructions
Effects of the Unit on an assailant
1. touching an assailant for less then 1 second with cause minor muscle contractions and have a repelling effect
2. touching an assailant for 1 to 2 seconds will cause muscle spasms and a dazed mental state
3. touching an assailant for 3 to 5 seconds will cause loss of balance and muscle control. Total mental confusion and disorientation. All effects are temporary ; the stun gun can cause no permanent harm: (NOTE: The device should not be used for longer then 5 seconds)