Granny's gone and done it again

[Wishing4Wings]

Good morning all. Getting ready to take my car back up to the wreckers. I'm kind of sad about it. Had that car for almost 30 yrs. I'll be driving it to it's doom. UNLESS, the guy steered me wrong and they really aren't processing retired vehicles on the holiday... in which case I will take it as a message that I am meant to keep it another year!

I tried to catch up last night, but just couldn't make it. Fell asleep sitting up!
Got to get ready to go. See ya later!

He wanted to ride shotgun!

Camping please go through a drivethru at KFC ask if they are low on chicken

You and camping just made my morning!

Nobody loves me.. Computer keeps freezing so I can only be on one site at a time. Already cleaned something today. Ones my limit as I hurt my hernia. chickens dont need fed or watered. They dont like that pellet food. It smells funny. Maybe why it was on sale. Not bad, I dont know the smell, just funny. odd. They gotta eat it anyway.
Hate living month to month. I wish I had a job. I used to love my job. I had all the bills paid. I hate this body I am trapped in. One day I will be free of it and the pains it brings. I WISH I believed in reincarnation. I would be swimming in crystal blue waters.

60mph with chicks in a wire cage? I wouldn't do it... at least not without protecting them from the wind head on. Why isn't there room inside the van? you've done it before.

 

[pertnear09]

I hate cedar's. Got a bunch on my place. They suck up a lot of ground water

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

I thought about goats or those hair sheep mainly but Im not fenced.

goats will eat/kill every tree they can get their teeth on.

Good morning All , got some funnies from my cousin coming.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

I miss my goats. They are like funny dogs with horns.

Drives me nuts when people dehorn them! What do they hold on to!?

Macie was born polled and I can't tell you how many times I thought she broke my nose from trying to hold her!

what does polled mean ? I guess they dehorn them so when they bend over in the yard they dont get poked ?

 

[Granny Hatchet]

Good morning all. Getting ready to take my car back up to the wreckers. I'm kind of sad about it. Had that car for almost 30 yrs. I'll be driving it to it's doom. UNLESS, the guy steered me wrong and they really aren't processing retired vehicles on the holiday... in which case I will take it as a message that I am meant to keep it another year!

I tried to catch up last night, but just couldn't make it. Fell asleep sitting up!
Got to get ready to go. See ya later!


You and camping just made my morning!



60mph with chicks in a wire cage? I wouldn't do it... at least not without protecting them from the wind head on. Why isn't there room inside the van? you've done it before.

I want to bring a LOT .

 

[Wishing4Wings]

Im getting empty. Gonna scramble some eggs.

Don't know how it keeps happening, but our timing is impeccably bad. Twist too.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.






CHICKENS
The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.


COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.


DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.


EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.


HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.


INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.


MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.


POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.


RAISIN
A grape with a sunburn.


SECRET
A story you tell to one person at a time.


SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.


TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.


TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.


YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.


WRINKLES
Something other people have....similar to my character lines.


OLD
I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.

She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
. . . and that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!!!



In youth, the days are short and the years are long.
In old age, the years are short and days long.

 

[Granny Hatchet]

I hate cedar's. Got a bunch on my place. They suck up a lot of ground water

well good ! I didnt know that but I am always flooded.

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

SIX LITTLE STORIES

Well worth the 30 seconds to read!



{1}



Once all villagers decided to pray for rain.



On the day of prayer all the people gathered,



But only one boy came with an umbrella.



That's FAITH.





{2}



When you throw babies in the air,



They laugh because they know you will catch them.



That's TRUST.





{3}



Every night we go to bed



Without any assurance of being alive the next morning,



But still we set the alarms to wake up.



That's HOPE.





{4}



We plan big things for tomorrow



In spite of zero knowledge of the future.



That's CONFIDENCE.





{5}



We see the world suffering,



But still we get married and have children.



That's LOVE.





{6}



On an old man's shirt was written a sentence



'I am not 80 years old;



I am sweet 16 with 64 years of experience.'



That's ATTITUDE.





Have a happy day and live your life like the six stories.



When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini-vacation.







"GOOD FRIENDS ARE THE RARE JEWELS OF LIFE...

DIFFICULT TO FIND AND IMPOSSIBLE TO REPLACE!

 

[twisted-acres-farm]

AARP- American Association of Retired People
Questions and Answers from
AARP Forum
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find
younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under
Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going
through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can
finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a
place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is
mentioned in the bible.. Is that true?
Where can it be
found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rodeJoseph's ass
all the way to Egypt.."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your
over-70 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're
pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the
elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your
glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet
and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually
pull them out..
Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet
parking?
A: Valets don't forget where
they park your car
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year old's to have
problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it
is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the
afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year old's look for eye
glasses?
A: On their
foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus
year old's when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember
these!"
SMILE,
You've still got your sense of
humor, haven't you?
Never regret anything that made you smile.