Granny's gone and done it again

After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".
"This isn't your bedroom." The man replied. "I am St. Peter and you're in Heaven."
"WHAT!" Said Brian "Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young. I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy." Said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is yours."
Brian thought about it and figured that being a dog is too tiring but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad, he thought. "Then I want to return as a hen.", Brian replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken coop, nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna explode.
Just then along came a rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about. How do you like being a hen?"
"Well, okay I guess, but my ass feels like it's about to explode."
"Oh that!" Said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg. Just relax and let it happen."
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen
was the best thing that had happened to him ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting, "Brian, wake up you drunken ******* You're
💩
the bed !!"
 
My dd works as sheriff's dispatcher here in our county. She was saying how they got a call recently where an elderly couple traveling through on the interstate had a blowout on an overpass, smashed through the railing, falling onto the railroad tracks below, just in time for a train to smash into them. The old gentleman survived but the woman did not. Talk about bad luck.
Wow. That is bad luck.
 

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