GRRRRRRRRRR Refigerator raider!

[BayCityBabe]

Don't even let "them" go there with the ADD junk! Unless this kid is bouncing off the walls like Tazz the tasmanian devil (and is one miserable little tyke), she is just a normal high-energy kiddo. I was very fortunate to have a friend in the medical field who observed my oldest (as a pre-schooler) and told me that the teachers would most definitely bring up ADD/ADHD and that I should push any such conversation toward consequences for the kid and good parent-teacher communication. My friend was so correct.
BOUNDARIES, my friend! "Don't get into mom's pocketbook." "Don't go outside alone." "Keep out of the fridge." Some things have to be non-negotiable.
I think it is great that you want her to be independent, but what does that mean? She is a child. When I read that, I thought of one friend who glowingly described her 20 mo. old as independent. By the time she was five, she would not tolerate the word "no". For example, she would not sit down with the other kids and be served a plate of food - a simple thing. She INSISTED that she fill her own plate at the buffet line, even if it was disruptive. Ridiculous when a parent cannot ask a child to do a simple thing that will make things run smoothly. Sorry to rant, but I think that our job as parents is to socialize kids to "play nice." I think the pendulum has swung to far toward child self esteem being some sort of goal.

 

[BUG126]

we had the same problem with our son, but he would only go after the block of cheese. We bought a fridge lock type thing that attached with super sticky tape so no holes. I think a 4 year old could probably figure it out though.

 

[cajunlizz]

Quote:
Big thing is to teach children and grand children WHO the adults are and that adults are the BOSS ...
Like the answer I use to give my son when he was 2 , his favorite word was WHY ? MY REPLY was , BECAUSE I SAID SO .

 

[lizardz]

Okay, so I've read all these posts and not once has someone suggested having her medically evaluated, other than for ADHD. There could be any number of medical reasons she is behaving the way she is and that is where I would suggest beginning. I think seismic wonder 2 has the best advice to begin looking at possible deficiencies in her diet. This does not mean that she is not eating healthy, but some people do not process foods correctly, thus causing deficiencies. And given her other "behavior" issues, I would definitely have her evaluated by a medical professional. I would not leave it to the school - they typically have minimal diagnostic abilities. I probably would not even trust it to a typical peditrician, but would seek out someone who specializes more in childhood disorders. Placing a lock on the refrigerator sounds like a safe step, but disciplining (and especially spanking) a child when there may be a medical issue is a horrid thought. I had a friend who was unable to control her bladder and was punished unmericlessly by her parents. When she was 10, her doctor discovered that there was something wrong with her bladder so that she was truly physically unable to control it. She had surgery and everythng was fine then, but she still remembers all those years of punishment for something she had no control over. Sorry this is so long, but please, before you go much further with this, have her medically evaluated. And, if you have someone who is a holistic practitioner in your area, you might want to think about consulting with them.
I wish you well and hope that you can discover what's going on so she (and your whole family) can thrive.
Liz

 

[seismic wonder2]

DUH! (smack myself in the head)
Liz is right.
Sometimes I forget since this is the internet and were not face to face I forget to say "First, get evaluated at medical".

Which I DO tell all my clients.
I'm NOT an MD, don't claim to be.
Good advice for everyone asking for advice from the internet is to take it with a grain of salt and verify with an actual Doctor.

 

[Frogdogtimestwo]

.

 

[EweSheep]

Wow wondeful information you all given me! I will answer all what I can put down.

Daveroo, I love that comment! About the Ding dongs, sorry we dont have that type of cake in our house. Maybe homemade or boxed cake will do!

PGSavage, I will check with my child's doctor to see if he agree with ADD issues. If he does not think she got ADD, then we will not go much further. I hated the drugs and the side effects it causes on kids and figured we will do what we need to do to change like her diet, etc. Baby steps for sure! My niece has it and her father does too. When both of the kids played together, they were so much alike and so out of focus on their playing and their actions were so similiar...........that is something I will have to ask my doctor about and get it out of the way.

Sems Wonder:
Her diet consists mostly what I can make such as chicken from store, hamburgers, hot dogs but prefer brats the most, loves boiled shrimp, baked or grilled fish and rarely ever fry them. Loves veggies in frozen kind or rinsed out canned green beans and salads with LOTS of tomatoes on it. Loves sliced cheese FOOD, not the real cheese kind..theres the difference LOL! All meat products are either baked, steamed or grilled. French fries happens once a week. We do have Hamburger Helpers but those are once a week or once every two weeks deal because it is a "fast food deal" if I am short on time. As for starch, its usually wild rice, brown rice, boiled potatoes, grilled potatoes...potato chips are a rarity in our household.

Lately I have been using Tang and Cherry Kool Aid and noticed her butt breaks out, so that would be elimatinated. Loves iced water and two percent milk. I am just guessing the red food dye would be looked at very closely and hold back the ketchup as well. Soda pop are not to be found except eating out or once in a great while treat. However she can not have Mountain Dew...it was horrible, bouncing off the walls and diarrhea really bad.

Loves canned and fresh fruits of all sorts, those things go first before the bananas do. Loves corn on cobs (so she can feed it to the chickens after she cleans it up)

As a mid day snack between lunch and supper at six, she would have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some fruit.

Desserts are usually homemade brownies (made with brown sugar instead of white sugar), boxed BC cake mixes, Jello puddings and gelatins......cookies are a rarity, it takes too much to make all those things so dessert does not happen often during the week.

We do eat out once a week and ice cream cones once or twice a week.

Breakfast is usually Cheerios (no sugar), milk or fried bacon and eggs or scrambled eggs and toast. Most of the time she is happy with toast with peanut butter on it. Bananas with peanut butter is also her favorite along with canned fruits or fresh fruits. Loves watermelon and canteloupes.

I must admit her poos are runny, slimy sometimes and if she gets into someting like cherry Kool Aid, you can see the red food dye on the poo. She is getting bad about going to the toliet too because half way out, she is running to the toliet or just sits there and poop it all out. Hard to clean her underwears out too....something is dye ing her underpants! They do smell bad!


CJJean, good advise! She does have a habit running to me, saying she wants to eat and I say no, then she runs to Daddy and ask him the same question , he says yes (without thinking) and I just yell at her saying NO when she raided in the refigerator. I had a talk with hubby about that and from now on, just confirm with each other and stand united with SAME answer NO! We are still working on that part as well and reminded each other that we need to stand together and not letting her get by with it. We DO spank our daughter (we were spanked as kids and we do know the difference between abuse and displ.) I, too, have dealt with that ploy with my own parents when my mother said NO and I run to my father, which he says Yes....the outcome does not always come out the way I wanted it to be. We made it just fine LOL!

All in a nutshell, she is due to see her doctor in a month for physical checkup. Our doctor is right now on vaction for a couple of weeks and he will be moving into a new office at a different hospital after his vacation. I pray she will have a good battery of tests before we can move on with the ADD issues and not to delay anymore(( than what my sister did, my neice is now nine years old, delayed learning, dxyselic (sp) and can not focus on her school work because she felt that her mind is racing. She was allergic to red food dye as well. Her diet, well, is poor and almost too obese...my sister blamed herself for bringing her daughter in that situation and their marriage is finished and will be divorced probably by the end of this year. Abby has been held back two grades and goes to summer schools in the past two years. Now she has been recently DX with ADD, she will start taking the lowest dose and go from there. We will all be looking into this closely where my neice will go from there.))

As for my daughter's behavior is mostly frustration, anger at herself that she can not do the things she wanted to do and not able to control herself. A simple task of coloring in a coloring book, she will do fine for five minutes and then blow up when the crayon wrap get stuck on paper or goes beyond the lines. I take those crayons away when she does that and boy I get the windmill fists and I tell her to take a time out and sit for four minutes. Even getting her sandles on, those slip on ones, she throws a hissy fit when she can not put them on....other days she slides them on without any problems at all! Complete opposite in other times and holy terror in most times. The grocery store, she is good at times but when she throws a fit, I drop everything and walk out of the store.

Whew! That is a load of frustration going on and hopefully with persistence and determination, we shall get better!

 

[cajunlizz]

Quote:
Please start reading labels on food items . You would be shocked at how much sugar is in canned fruit .


Also , I would bring her and have her totally and completely evaluated , starting with bloodwork .

Alot of the Symptoms you are describing is a combination of add/adhd and bi -polar . bi-polar is wanting to be in control . anger when you can't and happy one minute and angery the next . Sound familiar ?[/b]

 

[deb1]

I took my oldest son to a psychologist who specialized in ADHD. She helped us tremendously learn to parent such a child.



Please seek some medical advice though before you do any of this. She might have a physical condition that makes her have to eat all the time. Wouldn't it be terrible to punish her only to find out that she couldn't help herself?

 

[seismic wonder2]

OK,
If I were you "after going to the DR first"
1. Would be to cut out the milk. humans aren't designed to drink milk (well people milk when were babies but not cow milk) Try SOY milk. It does taste different, just tell her it's a new brand. in cheerios it won't make much difference.
2. Try to reduce bread to once ot twice a week, and then only whole grain types.
3. If she will eat oat meal go for it (NOT the instant sugaryflavored microwave yuck in little packets) I mean the REAL oat meal you have to cook on the stove. A little honey and cinimon for flavor (I wouldn't give honey to a child any younger than that though)
4. 99% of "sugar in the raw" dark sugar is just white sugar with mollassis to make it dark. REAL raw sugar can be found in the local "health food store" as dark brown triangle bricks you have to shave off with a knife.
5. Substitute frozen yogurt for the ice cream.
6. Make sure the salads she eats are dark green leafy like spinach etc... NOT iceburg lettuce.
7. Go for as much raw veggies as possible, or at least steamed. (flash frozen veggies are the best because they are picked at the peak of ripeness then frozen)
8. Start the vitamins the Flintstones are for general needs and the "B complex" will help level her moods...notice I said HELP... not cure. It's vitamins NOT ridalin.
9. Don't eat animal protein with starches (old fashoned meat and potatoes) go with soy products or beans n rice.
or meat and veggies.
10 avoid anything processed (from a can or box) they usually have way too many additives, salt, sugar, colors, etc... Pasta should be whole wheat or not at all.
11. make sure she gets plenty of running and jumping exercise.

Good Luck at the DR.