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I would probably get/use the revolver after reading Bullitt's post. I just started learning about how to handle guns, and the first thing I decided to shoot was a Mosin Nagant. Ok, not great for a 5'0 tall woman with weak wrists. But we don't have handguns, so that's the best thing I've got against someone trying to hurt me lol.
yeah, that's a bit much, and not very manuverable in tight spaces either! not to mention it's bolt-action so you might only get one shot... but hey, if they get close just hit 'em in the knee with it...
how does that thing kick? I've got a Schmidt-Rubin and it's a MULE! need a recoil pad for it - the metal buttplate *HURTS*. seriously, like being kicked by a mule in steel shoes.
I teach a lot of new women shooters, best advice I can offer for a small person with weak wrists - look for a handgun that REALLY fits your grip - one that doesn't shift AT ALL in your hand when you shoot it. might not be the smaller grip, I find I do better with a bigger grip than a smaller one, that's what I can control best. so you need to figure out what gun
you can hold on to most effectively. that'll let you use the strength you have. second thing is look for one with a recoil that is more of a push or shove than a snap... I find my glock .45 is a more comfortable recoil than my .38special revolver - not that the .45 has less recoil, but the motion of the recoil is different. I can shoot the .45 all afternoon and my wrist doesn't hurt. half an hour with the .38 and I'll feel it in my wrist. I think it's the snap - quick action and more upward rotation of the gun. combine that with a grip I can't secure as well, and it hurts more.
try shooting different guns, see what feels most natural to you... might not be the one you expect it to be (or the one your hubby/BF tells you it should be...
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I'm looking forward to trying the chiappa Rhino - it's got the barrel lined up with the bottom chamber instead of the top chamber, so it puts the recoil force more backwards in line with your forearm bones, and there's less upward rotation to affect your wrist. soon as I can find one locally to shoot, I'll let you know what I think. it seems like a good solution for folks with weaker wrists.