Hard time coping with loss- Looking for answers

theacw

Songster
8 Years
May 7, 2011
426
6
118
MN
I lost my favorite little hen the other day and I am just broken up over it. I know many of you probably think I am silly but honestly, I cared about her so much that it has just left me so heart broken. Hoping someone can help me maybe close some doors so I stop thinking so much about it

Day 1: I noticed she was standing in the nesting box over lunch, didnt think anything of it
-After work, I noticed she was clearly not her self. Brought her in the back yard and didnt scratch around much. Mainly just stood around very puffed up, head tucked in, and her tail down. I noticed the pine shavings under where she roosts were wet and yellowy. Hard to tell when it was mixed in with pine shavings. Her breath was stinky- I was thinking sour crop
-Later that night, I brought her inside and she would just stand on the couch next to me still puffed up, standing, wouldnt sit down, all hunched up with her tail down. She ate some bread. I felt around her tummy which seemed to irritate her. I didnt feel any eggs but I couldnt tell for sure. I put on a glove, lubed up and went in her vent but I never have done this and didnt know what to do. I only went in an inch or so and didnt feel anything. Glove came out clean. Put her back in the nesting box.

Day 2: Checked on her early morning and she was standing in the run looking the exact same. I felt her crop and it was still full. I rubbed it for awhile and I held her upside down, massaged, and a decent amount of liquid came out of her mouth (I learned later to NEVER do this and didnt know then)
-Over lunch she looked the exact same, I believe she was standing in her nesting box. I syringed water/ACV/olive oil into her put her in a carrier and she just stood there in another world. Before I went to work, her head was under her wing. Her butt was messy with whitish-yellowish poop but vent was clear and not red


I came home, and she had passed an hour before I got there. My parents said her butt was pulsating and could tell she wasnt doing good

-The gave her a warm bath thinking she was egg bound. She wasnt in there long but when she was she was relaxed with her eyes closed. My dad thought that she wanted to get out and acted like it so he lifted her out and she died right then. He said a bunch of stuff came out of her vent and smelled awful. When she was in the box when I came home, it was like a whitish-yellowish, clear liquid coming out and liquid was also coming out of her mouth.


Any ideas?

I am just sick about it and cant stop thinking about what I should have done. Does anyone have an idea what happened? Contagious? What should I do now?

Her sister, a SLW, is absolutely distraught and confused. She is the top girl and the buff orp who passed was number 2. It was just the two of them forever, never left their side. Now she is with a small silkie and a 2 month old cochin who she HATES and have been with us for 3 weeks. Do you think they will ever bond?

Any answers would be appreciated. I am just lost over all of this. My favorite little girl and it happened so fast......


Thanks in advance
 
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I'm SO sorry. That must be so hard.
Sounds like she was egg bound. Poor girl. It is not contagious, thankfully. Your parents did the best thing, soaking her in a warm bath. Your other girl sounds awfully sad, poor thing... I think she will bond with the other hens, since she lost her sis. Maybe a new hen would help? I'm not sure, I know that when one of my hens died, hazel, who was a blind buff orpington.... Penny, her half blind sis, was so sad. We adopted another hen with a calm disposition and they bonded immediately. (The hens name is Gloria, she has a leg problem and took right away to Penny, they are best friends to this day.)

Again, very sorry for your loss. A new hen or 2 may help you and your hens cheer up. God bless.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your hen
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And no, we don't think you are silly. I went to to pieces when I lost my favourite hen 2 years ago. Sometimes things happen to our dear feathered friends that we can't stop, they get sick and we can't help, or they get taken by predators, like my hen. It's o.k. to feel a bit cut up about it. We love them and they love us, so it's perfectly normal to grieve when they go.
I wish I knew enough about chicken disease and ailments to tell you what was wrong with your girl and give you the reassurance you need, but all I can tell you is that it sounds like you did your best. Your girl was in good hand and she was loved.
 
Thank you so much for your kind words. Today has been by far the hardest, it sure is starting to sink in and I miss her like crazy. Do buff orpingtons tend to have more personality? I dont know if I will have the heart to have another one. Ugh, I miss her so much.

I was hoping it wasnt egg bound because that is something I should have recognized sooner and could have saved her :( I worry that I may have broke an egg when holding her upside down. I cant stop thinking "what if?"

I am not sure if I should get another one for her sister. I just got the 2 new ones 3 weeks ago and it has been hell. She absolutely hates them and wants nothing to do with them. She is the top gal and I dont know if she will ever accept anyone again. She has been laying inside on the coop ground all day if I dont have her out with me. The 2 new ones are bantam breeds so they are 1/4 size of her. Do you think there is a chance she will ever accept them? The new hen is extremely calm and never would give the impression that she thinks she is anything but the bottom of the order. She is deathly afraid of Stephanie (the grieving one)

She has been hurt herself with a leg injury. She hasnt laid in about a week now. Should I be concerned?
 
I am so sorry for your loss. Time will help and if you don't want to get another hen she should eventually become better friends with the others. Having a pet die is never easy. Whether its a cat, hen, or horse. I just had to put down my 34 year old Arabian that I had for 22 years in July. It is very hard to get over. They become part of the family. Time will help, I promise
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There are alot of us that are real sad and cry alot when a pet chicken dies. I think you did the best you could. There was probably nothing you could have done anyway. Something inside her stopped working.

There are alot of friendly breeds out there, I have alot of them.
 
I'm so sorry for you. I totally understand. I've become unaccountably attached to a sick baby chick and am doing everything possible to save it. Not just that but my lovely 24yr old son has as well. I've not owned chickens for very long but I have learned they are cute, sweet, and courageous. My best thoughts go to you.

Leslie
 
Don't ever feel silly for loving an animal friend. I have cried my until I thought my eyes would turn inside out over the loss of a beloved pet. The only comfort is the knowledge of having treated our pets like queens (or kings!) and that we loved them and gave them a life most animals unfortunately never get offered. I just recently lost my sweetest hen due to an egg problem and while it is horribly sad without her I know I have to enjoy my other girls while I am lucky enough to have them with me. Sometimes I find it is comforting to change my screensaver pic go a lost pet or frame a photo of it and keep it where I see it until I accept the loss. It was nice to hear your parents were helping while you were away. Take care. :)
 
Thank you so much for the support. I was hoping I would find some others like me out there because everyone else thinks I am crazy for being sad over a chicken which makes me feel like I have to secretly grieve. What they dont know is I am not just sad, I am broken to pieces! She's one of those animals that you cant stop thinking of more and more memories which you would think would make me feel better but it only hurts more

The stress of her sister not accepting the new ones and her being confused is just making all of this so overwhelming.

Shober: I am so sorry for your loss! I cant imagine losing a horse, let alone one you had for so long. That horse was almost as old as me! I vowed to myself years ago that I would never get a horse because I cant even fathom how hard it would be to lose one. I only had Debbie with me for 16 months which makes me sad that I will look back and she was just a chicken I had for a little bit though I dont even remember life before her! I couldnt wait to get a farm to get a rooster because she would have made the sweetest momma

Leslie- I hope everything works out with your baby. Its impossible not to get attached to a chick! Something about their sweet, innocent little souls that steal your heart by their cute little quirks! It is nice you have your son to go through it with you

The mother hen- Changing my desktop and putting pictures of her on my fridge was the second thing I did First, I laid in bed a cried and watched videos of her on my phone :)

Thanks again for everyones kind words. I have felt so alone grieving because no one understand how much I am hurting over it so you have no idea how much it means to hear that I am not crazy and there are others out

My favorite fish is barely with me and most likely wont make it. Now grieving over a fish is a million times more hard for people to understand! :p

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A very good friend of mine told me how sad she was when she lost her pet fish. I still remember a little goldfish I had when I was about 11, 12 who died and how sad I was. Nothing wrong or strange about getting attached to our pets. Whether it's chickens or fish or dogs or cats... I hope your hen recovers from the loss of her buddy and accepts her flock mates and I hope you feel better soon.
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