**heartbroken - My son is joining the Marines **vent

[zengrrl]

and I know I should be proud but we had a deal. Go to college FIRST, then if you still are feeling the military by all means do it. He just graduated high school, dragged his feet on starting college but was working FT. Finally, college was all paid for, starts this month and he drops this bomb on me.

Now I adore our military don't get me wrong. I had an ARMY father and my dh is retired NAVY. Thats why we agreed, I thought anyway, college first. Start off as an officer, but he's already decided his life plan with his FRIENDS and is only now telling us whats they've decided. I'm so upset. I told him, please go with dh and talk to all the branches and see what they'll offer you. No he tells me. All his friends are doing the Marines. (Does peer pressure EVER END!) He has this new gf of a few weeks, her parents signed her off already and she ships out in September. He plans on doing all the PT training with them all summer, living at someone's mothers house to do it as its an hour away from where we live now and they're all leaving in Sept. Yeah to all different corners of the universe.

I told him as his mother I should have been part of the discussion but he's so darn stubborn. Grrrr.....

 

[ChickensAreSweet]

I'm a mom too and I understand how you feel.

All we can do is raise 'em right, then sit back and give helpful advice when needed. Sometimes they have to make their own mistakes in life.

(My Dear Father told me some things when I was about 18, that I wish I had done regarding my career. But I was stubborn.)

Maybe it will work out for the best for him anyway.

I hope he will stay safe and rise like a star in the Marines!

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

Oh, mama...it could be so much worse! Just a suggestion,...let him know that you've thought about it and couldn't be prouder of him. He NEEDS to hear this from you.

My daughter shocked me before she even graduated high school with news that she wanted to join the Army Reserves. I was terrified that she wouldn't complete college, but she just graduated last Saturday "cum laude"!! She has matured in ways that no kids her age have and part of that was a year deployment to Iraq.

Love him, pray for him...you've given him roots...now give him wings...

 

[gertiie]

I am a Navy mom, I can relate.
Personally I think this younger generation could ALOT stand to do boot camp !!!
There is alot of kids out there who need to learn respect, honor, good work ethics, and how to be decent grown ups !

I agree with above poster , we have to sit back, advise, but then let them learn on their own. It is THE hardest thing to do .
I hope you find peace in the sitaution soon.

 

[TammyTX]

My brother-in-law is a Marine Col. we are very proud of him.

Tell your son to find a godfather...that's a higher ranking officer to help him through.

 

[MsPony]

Well, either he regrets it or he comes out after making the best choice ever.

Why doesn't he do college via marines?

 

[Balefire]

Quote:
Agree.

Only when you let somebody go, he is abel to return. I know how hard that is for a mom. My son is in the Army. My youngest daughter left the house without warning shortly after her 18 birthday.
Give him a big hug and tell him how much you love him and how proud you are. I will pray for his savety. Big hug for you

 

[darkmatter]

Be proud and supportive. I was military and encouraged my kids for higher education and they each have full time jobs now. I would have supported them if they choose otherwise.
Count your blessings----I have a 25 year old nephew that’s a basement troll with no driver’s license or job, just an internet addict.

 

[chickengrl]

Quote:
I can't say it much better. Not all kids are ready for college when the time comes. My parents flushed tons of money down the toilet forcing my younger brother to go to college. He hated it, and dropped out with depression when he had a year left. MANY years later he never went back. He now owns a Goodyear business and happy on his own terms. I know it's hard, but let him make his decisions and let him know you are still right there cheering him on. The military really encourages college too, and they pay for it while they are enlisted, not just the GI bill. Let him have his wings....you have done your job, it's time for him to do his.

 

[areyoumymother]

Oh MY Goodness, I just lived a very similar scenario about 3 years ago. My 2 Marine Children are 2 years apart in age but were only one grade apart while in school.

My son (the oldest) has always had it in his head to join the Marines since he was very little, strange since we have no military background in our family at all, but he has always been fascinated with military history since grade school. As his parents we accepted the fact that when the time comes he would be on the next bus to Camp Pendelton, and he was !

Our daughter on the other hand, suffering from the typical "I don't know what to do with my life" syndrome during her senior year, followed right into her brothers footsteps and also signed on the Marine dotted line and was on the next bus out to Perris Island right after HS graduation.

The last 6 months or so just before going to boot camp both had already started their emotional separation from the family, staying at friends weeks at a time, only coming home to shower and do laundry, etc, etc. It was very difficult on us as parents.

My DH always tells everyone "Our children drafted US into the military"

We were devastated, empty nest syndrome hit fast and furious. How could they just desert us in this way, having children in the militray is a very emotional roller coaster. But with all the flips and turns and drops and upside down moments, I have seen my children mature as responsible young adults leaving their high school peers and BFF's in the dust.

My son is half way thru his degree online and so far is on the deans list, he has also completed his personal Trainer certificate. My daughter just returning from 12 month deployment in Afghanistan will now start her college coursework as well.

Many, many, many a tear of sorrow and joy shed over the past 3 years. It is definitely a very hard life for all parties involved but at the end of the day both my children would tell anyone it is worth it.

I could not be prouder of my 2 Marines !!!!!!!!!!!!