Yes, best not to reach from above. Also, each grooms herself, and does it by beaking under and through her feathers. She shakes herself to settle her feathers; actually, probably does more than that-with the tiny muscles just under her skin. In any case there is nothing like petting.
And their feathers are especially sensitive when they are growing. So, I don't pet... at least until they are thoroughly tame. Then I might see how much they mind some light stroking.
And I think petting feels scary because it is a little like being trapped.
They do like to jump up on things. I think that really encouraged them to jump up on my knees as I sat with them. Once there, they discovered they liked the warmth. And they felt safe because it wasn't so open and I didn't do anything scary like hold them or move except very slowly. After a few days, some of them like to squeeze in between my arm and my body but that isn't scary because they are choosing to do it. And I give them soft contented sounds.
And food helps. Lol. I give them some greens which they can eat easily if I hold the end firmly. If I don't hold the ends, they can't tear a bite off unless someone else is biting the other end. I think that is the purpose of the grab it and run game they play.... it isn't very effective. As more of them figure out they do better taking bites from what I'm holding, they crowd around and some get a better angle from my hand or lap. Some just like to eat from there, and will even when they are the only one there.
Of my 11, ten are somewhat more willing to hang out on my lap than I want and one will hop up for short visits but never stays long.