Help me dog people! Dog psychologist needed!

[janiedoe]

A new dog joined our family..
Our older boxer, Dexter died 2 weeks ago. Our younger one, Ruby has been grieving. She barely eats and doesn't play much. Ruby is 8. We lost Truman, our 21yr old doxie, two yrs ago, so Ruby is/was an only dog.
All of our dogs have always been spayed or neutered.
My husband loves boxers and yesterday, he bought a 4 yr. old male boxer that is intact. We will be having him fixed asap.
Ruby has always been very sweet and loves other dogs. She hates this one. She has growled none stop and tried to nip him through the fence when introduced. We had to introduce them here at home, because we drove an hour and 1/2 to get him.

The new boy, Bruce seems very laid back. He wants to play with Ruby. He has shown no aggression, even when she growls.
He had never met a cat but he was only mildly curious about Boo.
He hasn't met the chickens yet.

I'm feeling overwhelmed! We have kids and grandchildren visiting this weekend and I'm concerned about the doggy integration.
This is Bruce

Ruby (& Boo)

Any help is appreciated!

 

[azygous]

Ruby may have been an "only dog" since Dexter, but she had you and the family as her "pack" , and Bruce, to Ruby, is an interloper. He's not part of her pack, and she feels he doesn't belong there.

Probably, in time, if you are a strong pack leader, she will see Bruce is accepted by you and she'll come to accept him.

 

[chicken1234]

I would take Ruby to the vets for a health check. She isn’t eating and acting normal she may not be feeling well.

 

[janiedoe]

@azygous My husband is the strong pack leader. I'm more of the pushover with dogs. He is working on training already this morning.
It is hard to believe that an expensive dog like this one hasn't been taught any basic commands.
He is house trained. He seems to have a very low prey drive (if any) so there is hope. He barely glanced at the hens that were flying towards us,squawking for treats, when I took him out this morning.
@chicken1234 Ruby has an appointment this week for a full health check. She had a vet check last month for a follow up on a scratched eye. All was good then, so I'm pretty sure she is mourning Dexter. I wish my husband would have given her (& me) more time before adding another dog but he is mourning in his own way.
Bruce has an appointment on Thursday for a full check and to schedule his operation.
Thank you both for replying. I'm a little more optimistic this morning. after all, Ruby hated Boo when we adopted her.

 

[janiedoe]

Less stress today.
Ruby is being a bit more accepting. He took the morning walk with Ruby, Boo, and myself.
Bruce is terrible on a leash but I'll keep using it until we can teach him his boundaries.
Jim has always taught our dogs not to go through an open door or gate without an invitation.
Yesterday Bruce learned that cats will scratch and hens will peck your eyeballs if you get too close.

 

[LaFleche]

What a gorgeous addition to your family, congratulations!

He seems nice enough and when they have spent more time together, Ruby will come around and teach him the ropes.

Every time one of our dogs died, the remaining ones grieved for quite some time, hardly eating anything or playing or wanting to go on a run etc. And each of them took their own time.

I am sorry you lost your beloved Dexter

 

[Bitofablonde]

Very sorry for your loss of Dexter. That's the worst part of owning a pet.

Ruby is definitely grieving, give her time. And given that they couldn't meet beforehand on neutral territory that could have played a role in her initial response to him. Just keep taking things slow. Show her that he's ok, and allow them to do things on their own time. Never force them to interact, that will only result in problems.

It can take up to a month for a new dog to feel settled in a home and just as long for the existing dog to accept the new friend.

So glad you are getting him neutered! It doesn't surprise me that he's intact and untrained...see it on a daily at work lol the training will come with time as well, and will help him build a stronger bond with you and your hubby. So make sure you are both doing some of the training and are on the same page as to how you want him to behave.

Good luck! He's very handsome!

 

[BigBlueHen53]

There is a lot going on here, and Ruby's having a lot to deal with. Yes, dogs do grieve the loss of their companions and that takes time. Then it's natural for her to perceive Bruce as an intruder at first and that also will take time. But another factor is the fact that he is intact. His pheromones are new and alien to her and possibly unpleasant and even threatening. To me, that accounts for the growling, the "back off, keep your distance, not interested" reaction from her. Once he is neutered she should relax, and also as she gets used to him and sees that he is not a threat, she should settle down. Let her decide how close she wants to be to him, to set her own boundaries.

ETA, typos. Arthritis!

 

[janiedoe]

@LaFleche thank you. They did so much better yesterday.
@Bitofablonde I appreciate the empathy. What type of work do you do? This is my first time to have an intact male over a year old.
@BigBlueHen53 thank you. Ruby was wonderful with him yesterday.

He is such a sweet dog, but he needs a lot of work. He isn't as well house trained as we were led to believe.
He knows absolutely No basic commands. He doesn't even recognize his own name. He came with his akc papers but no medical background.
He doesn't look neglected but I don't think he was paid much attention. We've already fallen for him and Ruby is relaxing now so all is better. The grandchildren adore him.
Truman , who we adopted as a "senior" in 2004 died May, of 2019 and Dexter (to 2010 to 2021):

After we get things settled down, I may adopt another adult dog. I see so many that need help. One of my daughters rescued a great Pyrenees mix that may end up here. He is less than a year old. He may be too much for her to handle on a half acre lot. She and her husband have two dogs already and occasionally foster dogs.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Doesnt seem like you need a dog psychologist here. You just need time. Even though Ruby growls she is just saying "hey dont mess with me. Im the boss" as long as she doesnt go over threshold: showing teeth, biting, you really dont have an issue. Shes getting used to his scent. Be sure you are not giving the new dog all the attention. This could lead to jealousy (yes, dogs do get jealous) and further aggression. Never go nose to nose with an introduction and always do it on a neutral ground. Definately walk them together if you can because it inforces that pack mentality. Best of luck