Help (not super important but I need some help)

[PioneerChicks]

My family always teases me about this, so I just ignore it.

If they are serious, I see two main options. Ask them to stop (tell them it makes you uncomfortable) or just ignore it. I have come to accept, and embrace, that some animals are pets and some are food, but not all people think this way.

Good luck!

 

[Disintegration]

I'd just explain, VERY clearly, that while you enjoy the eggs, you love them and they are your pets. If they have a pet, maybe say 'You wouldn't like to eat your dog would you?' to get them to understand. Say it makes you uncomfortable to hear that.

This is usually how I respond to comments about my guinea pigs.

 

[SeventyNeves77]

They’re just trying to get a rise out of you. No need to react. They’ll lose interest soon enough.

 

[NatJ]

I talk to them a lot in person and they say the same thing! I was telling them about how I love duck eggs and they said “if you like duck eggs then you’ll definitely like to eat ducks.” It makes me so uncomfortable!! So I try to not talk about them when they are over.

I suppose you could point out that if you eat the ducks, there will be no more duck eggs.

But not talking to them about ducks (which you're already doing) is probably a better choice.

 

[KaleIAm]

Unfortunately there will be people who make these kinds of insensitive comments. They may take some kind of issue with our choices, or feel judged by us. The reason doesn't matter, their behavior is inappropriate. I understand what you are going through.

My first choice is to get these people out of my life. I have, "disowned," cousins for such comments for over 25 years and my life is much better for it. It goes beyond the comments for me. I'm only interested in having kind people in my life. I understand you are perhaps not at the place in your life where you can do that.

The other thing you could do is the broken record method. Calmly say the same thing every time they say something inappropriate. This makes their, "game," less exciting. They say, "you should eat ducks!" You say, "I don't eat pets." They say, "You would like how they taste!" You say, "I don't eat pets."

Or you could just ignore them completely when they behave inappropriately. Along with not posting photos of your ducks, or talking about your ducks when they are around. We would be happy to see photos of your ducks!!

Can you get help from a respected older family member and have that person talk to the insensitive person about their behavior? I think you may need back up if you are going to choose confrontation. Then rules could be set in place and agreed upon in your household that if guests talk about eating your pets they will be asked to leave.

 

[LT71689]

Just because someone is close to the family doesnt give them a free pass to be rude and ignore boundaries.

I'd tell them point-blank that they need to stop making those kinds of comments because I do not like them. If they continue to overstep that boundary then that means they do not give a crap about me, and people who dont care about me and think its fun to be mean to me dont get to stay in my life. I'd expect anyone else in the family to agree that unnecessary cruelty isnt funny or clever and someone who willfully violates stated boundaries isnt a great person for them to keep around either.

But I'm willing to draw hard lines in the sand. I don't believe you should have to be the one to "just ignore" people's abusive and mean behaviour.

 

[KaleIAm]

Just because someone is close to the family doesnt give them a free pass to be rude and ignore boundaries.

I'd tell them point-blank that they need to stop making those kinds of comments because I do not like them. If they continue to overstep that boundary then that means they do not give a crap about me, and people who dont care about me and think its fun to be mean to me dont get to stay in my life. I'd expect anyone else in the family to agree that unnecessary cruelty isnt funny or clever and someone who willfully violates stated boundaries isnt a great person for them to keep around either.

But I'm willing to draw hard lines in the sand. I don't believe you should have to be the one to "just ignore" people's abusive and mean behaviour.

x2!!!

 

[Miss Lydia]

Have you told them how you feel about your ducks and that saying things like they are saying makes you feel bad? If they keep it up after that then best you can do is not be around them or when they start get up an say excuse me an walk out maybe eventually they will get the message. I have heard things like this over the years that I have had my ducks geese an chickens and I know how you are feeling.

 

[DukesDucks]

I feel for you. I get so angry when people build themselves up by putting others down. There has been some great advice here. Don't stop posting and talking about your ducks. If you can block these from that person that might be wise. It sounds like no other family member is backing you up which is really too bad.
My favourite bit of advice was to pick a stock phrase like, "I don't eat pets", especially when said in a non-confrontational, bland, repetitive tone. No explanation. No expansion. Prepare yourself not to react. (After I go have a little cry by myself).
Unfortunately these bullies will be in families, schools, on teams, and in work places. Bullying is not "fun" if it doesn't draw a reaction. Your situation is an unfortunate lesson in life. You can draw two things from this lesson - how to make it stop for yourself and how to be that person brave enough to stand up for someone else.

 

[Miss Lydia]