Help With Father's Day? Please?

[Laurajean]

Just wanted to let everyone know I had a great Father's Day with my dad. He came over, we sat around at the chicken coop for a while, just talking. Got a passing shower so we ran into my shed for a few minutes until it stopped, then went right back to our chairs, wiped them down with towels and sat back down again. I dressed up a bit today, which I haven't done in a long time, and my father said "Wow, you look great, you look so thin!" This of course made my day because I just lost a bunch of weight and this is the first time I've worn something other than grubby jeans around him since losing the weight. He seemed very pleased that I dressed up just for him. So we hung around for a while and he made a remark that maybe someday he'll get chickens again. It made me laugh and I told him that one of you suggested I get him chicks for father's day.

He said he wants pigeons and told me that I don't remember, but he used to keep carrier pigeons. I said I DO remember, and we proceeded to have a friendly argument; him thinking he had them before I was born, and me, reminding him exactly what shed they were in and how I even remember the time he sat out one night with a shot gun determined to get the weasel that had been getting into the coop. He laughed and said, "Yeah, and I got that little bas**** too!"

We eventually got in gear and headed to Uno's for dinner. He shocked me by not ordering a steak, and mentioning something vague about his recent blood work which worried me but I pretended not to worry because I didn't want to ruin father's day. So he ordered baked haddock and I ordered what turned out to be an absolutely horrendous "curry pasta" dish.

He flirted with our waitress and talked to her with his mouth full and I had to stifle my laughter. At the end, I went to pay the bill and I said, "What do you think, how much should I tip?" and he commented that the waitress had a nice butt.

So I tipped her butt nicely and we left.

Came back home and I gave him a case of his favorite beer, and a card and some candy. I gave him the Home Depot gift card and he refused to take it and gave it back to me and said to put it toward something I need for the house.

It was a simple afternoon and evening, but it was fun. I sent him home with a bunch of fresh eggs too. I think he had a good time. After he left I realized I totally forgot my camera and didn't get a single picture!!!

I don't know HOW I forgot that, after all the discussion here about it, but I did.

It was just nice to be able to relax with him for once. I think he had a nice time. Thanks for all the nice ideas and input. It turns out just spending time with each other was gift enough after all.

PS: Oh, and I almost forgot. On the way home we stopped for ice cream cones. I haven't gone for an ice cream with my dad since I was 10. That alone was just fun.

 

[whiteflare]

Sounds like you had a great time, so glad it went well for yoU!

Some people just refuse to take money or gifts, especially those close to you

Once, a friend drove us practically to another city, and refused to take any money!

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

I'm so glad y'all had a great visit!

My dad is really hard to buy for too. I think he just enjoys it when we are all around him.

 

[Laurajean]

Yeah, my dad isn't a fancy guy and he already has everything, so I guess just good old fashion quality time did the trick. I have an added bonus today, he just called and said he's skipping out on a BBQ he was supposed to go to because he's wondering if I'll give him a haircut. A haircut!!! Hadn't even thought of that!!!

So I said sure, come on over. I'll feel even better after giving him a nice, free haircut. If there's one thing he loves, it's saving money!

 

[redhen]

Awwwww! Sounds like a good time!!

Hee hee, the waitress had a cute tush....

Wish my dad was closer so i could see him..

 

[ParadiseFoundFarm]

I don't do the internet on the weekends because we don't hae it at home. I was thinking about you and your dad this weekend and wondered if youwere going to update us and how it went.
Thank you for putting a smile on my face annlong with a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart from your update.
I'm happy he's comming over for a haircut. Sound like he misses being with you and enjoys your company. Keep it up.
God Bless you Laurajean and your Dad too. Find out what's up with his health when you can - some times those things can get very complicated for our parents and it helps when a family member goes with them to the doctor so there's another set of ears. Enjoy your time with him - it never lasts long enough.
Denise
Paradise Found

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
Thank you, that's very kind. He did come back over for the haircut and stayed pretty much the whole afternoon and into the evening, which is really rare. It was funny, because as he was leaving I said, "Thanks for the visits both days, I hope you had fun, I know I did." And he paused in the walkway and said, "Yeah, we should make this a yearly thing".

I said, "Daddy, Father's Day IS a yearly thing! You're the one who never takes the time to do anything." And he said, "Yeah, I guess we'll have to change that". It's hard to describe my father, but he has deep seeded issues about "being busy" and working. I think he feels he has to constantly work his butt off or he's not good enough, which is really unfair to himself, especially now that he's of retirement age and SHOULD be relaxing and enjoying all he's worked for. He admitted during our dinner out that he's afraid to retire because he thinks he'll get lazy. I tried to explain that he could never be lazy, and even if he were, that's okay, because he's earned it. I think I almost *need to require some sort of help or favor* to get him to come over sometimes, otherwise he feels guilty for "just visiting", as if that's a bad thing. I'm really hoping now that he's getting older that he will chill out a little and have more fun. I KNOW he had a good time. Thanks again to everyone for the nice support and encouragement!

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:

 

[arabianequine]

Wish I had a dad to see....I never really have had one growing up though. My real dad died when I was in my early 20's. We went and visited my FIL and had our nephews over sat. night. which was fun.

I am glad though you had a great time. See birds are in the future for him that will give him something to do when he retires. You will have to just get him some though maybe cause he may never do it on his own.

I hope he comes around more then once a year though. It does not have to be fathers day to come over and visit. Does he live in the same area as you do?

 

[Laurajean]

Quote:
He lives about an hour away. I'll certainly see him before then, I see him every few weeks, but it's never a "quality sit down visit". He'll come take me for an errand if my car is not running, or he'll stop by to give advice on a project, stuff like that. But he never stays long at all, rarely even sits down, always hurries off. He's been like that my entire life. I love him and I know he loves me, but he's always been preoccupied and busy. He used to even work on Christmas when I was growing up; it was ridiculous. He's so busy "making a better life" that it's all passing him by. So yes, for him it DOES have to be a special occasion to visit, otherwise he can't justify taking time off. I know that's absurd, but that's just how he is. I said to him yesterday that these last two days together was probably more time than I have EVER spent with him at once. And I mean that pretty literally. I've tried going to his house, but he's always either working, or if he is there, he ducks out and leaves me chatting with his wife. Nothing against her at all, but I come mainly to see HIM, so it kills the point. So these two days were very special to me. I went to bed last night after he left and got emotional thinking about it. I keep telling him he's going to have a stroke before he slows down and enjoys life, but he doesn't listen.

On a more positive note, he is very fun when I do get time with him. Warped sense of humor like me, I really am a chip of the ol' block (except for the money obsession & the constant busyness, those are the only things we don't have in common). Conversation-wise though, it's always fun. Just wish there was more of it!

And hugs to you, sorry you don't have a dad.