Here's your sign....

[SarahFair]

Quote:
Hey, I can say some pretty...dingy...things too.
Some of us just cant help it

 

[19hhbelgian]

Here goes nothing

DH says "hey did you hear what happened to Terry the other day?"
MIL "no, what?!"
DH "He was out in the middle of nowhere coming back from a service call. He got distracted and ran off the road and hit a farmers fence! Nobody was around, no houses or anything, just a pig in the field... So he backed out and went home. When he got home he was eating supper and the cops showed up at his house! Now tell me how anybody couldve known it was him??!"
MIL: "well, you never know when or where you're being watched on camera!" (she was totally serious)
we all just stared at her dumbfounded...
DH "Mom... the pig sqealed!"

Now I know it's a bad joke, but seriously!!

 

[starforever61]

Quote:
Hey, I can say some pretty...dingy...things too.
Some of us just cant help it

I'm sure we've all had our blonde moments.

but isn't it funny when people say, "I love your peacock! Is it a boy or a girl?" I know somebody else wrotte that but it was so darn funny I just had to say it again.

 

[SarahFair]

Quote:
ahahaha

 

[kassy68]

I was at the airport picking up a new poodle that my friend had flown in. As a joke she dyed her pink.

I had a guy come up to me that worked at the airport and say" WOW, can I get a picture, My mom bred them dogs and I don't think she knows they come in the color pink. I have to show her."


heres your sign, double whammy, mom a breeder and still didn't have a clue.. heres the dog.

If you are wondering which of the 2 I"m referring to.. "Here's your sign"

I should have told him , " Yeah, this is an old color , been around for years, but most of us bleach them white cuz Pink wasn't for everyone.

 

[Godsgrl]

I'm a zoo volunteer, and hear some doozies just about everytime I am out there, such as:

Does the (opposum, snake, owl, ferret, etc) bite?

Yes, everything bites

Where did the (alligators/bears) come from? They don't live here in GA, do they?

Um, yes they do

I grew up in (pick any southern state) and never saw an alligator, they must not live there

Yes they do!

Watching me lovingly take an animal out of the carrier at the alligator exhibit- are you feeding the alligators?

NO!!

 

[Goldlaced_Girl]

as I'm tacking up monstrous saddlebred at my stable (17.0 hh I believe) a random stable hand walks up to me says
"OMG [yes, omg] are you gonna ride that beast?" 0.0 no. I'm just wearing Jods, boots and spurs as a fashion statement. and I like going through all the work of tacking up that 'beast' as he's biting and kicking me for fun. I love the slime I get All over me when I tie his tongue (yes, you tie saddlebred's tongues down to their bottom jaw to keep them from mashing it).
I said "No, I just like doing this for fun." in a COMPLETELY sarcastic way, voice posotively DRIPPING with it, and all she said was. "oh, too bad I was gonna stay and watch." she sadly walked away. Later she walks into the ring and was like "omg, whose horse is that??? what happened to the horse you were tacking up?!" I was so dumbfounded I went straigt into the rail. or, should I say, He trotted at a breakneck speed INTO the wall and bashed my knee in. I didn't even answere her, just pretended not to hear, 'cause I didn't know what to say! I mean, It's not like you can easily mistake this horse for another one! he's huge! I wanted to beat my head against the wall, but Cirque had already done that for me.

 

[wombat]

I live with this daily. My daughter will ask me things like ..."So, are you pounding nails?" ... No, I'm nailing the hammer. "Are you feeding the chickens?" ... No, I'm covering the run with scratch so their feet don't get dirty.

She's seven. She has an excuse.

For the rest of those people ... one of my co-workers had a sign in her office that said "You must be the one we hired to make CO2 so our plants would thrive." Her version of "here's your sign" was to simply point at her sign when confronted by a stupid person standing in front of her desk.

 

[emvickrey]

I have one that used to annoy me to no end. I heard this same question everyday I worked for 3 years.

I worked at Domino's PIzza and EVERY time I answered the phone I would say,"This is Domino's PIzza may I help you?"

They would say, "Is this Domino's?

A few times I did say "No, it's Pizza Hut"

 

[key west chick]

Recently we were talking about olives. Some one asked where pimintoes came from. My 20 year old DD says, "duh, they come from inside the olive". She actually thought the olive was formed with them inside already.