Holidays.......

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I know I should be all excited about the upcoming holidays, but I am not.

My oldest sister whose house I used to go to has devolved into a prescription drug addiction and it has become painfully evident. I hate being around her, but I feel so sorry for her children.... I want to offer them stability but I also need to protect my own kids. Ugh.

Then there are DHs parents who drive me crazy routinely. DH is actually working Tday so we are on our own. I want to make thanksgiving myself but middle sister is in FLA, her kids are all away.

So, I end up turning down sister and dealing with in-laws by trying to count my blessings while biting my tongue!

 

[Redfeathers]

It's an unfortunate thing about the Holidays. There are many surveys that show how the Holiday season brings on depression, especially among women that have to do the majority of the planning and deal with the financial worry. I know this is a stress factor for men as well. I'm just talking statistically.

I'm sorry to hear that your sister is dealing with that. Addiction hurts everyone in the family and in her circle of friends. I just hope someday you all are able to help bring her out of this, or she maybe is able to get her own life straightened out. I've been in your shoes with family members and it's so hard.

Try to find some small measure of time for yourself to celebrate the holidays. Attend a function that brings back the spirit of the season and what it is really all about. Good luck!!

 

[debilorrah]

I know how you feel. It isn't so much an addiction issue with our family, it is that marriages have broken up, one BIL is in Iraq, my stepkids mom lost her apartment, and we are so broke we can't pay attention. We have to look at the other side of it - we have a roof over our head, jobs, cars, health (for the most part), cable, cell phones. We are more rich than we are poor.

 

[SterlingAcres]

I'm sorry about your sisters problem. That's a tough one all around

I feel your pain about the holidays. The first year DH and I were together, we spent Thanksgiving with his family (since that's their big holiday). They were so rude and went out of their way to make me feel like an outsider. I have not spent a holiday with them since. We've done Thanksgiving at our home, with my father and uncle (they're the only blood relatives on his side left). I feel bad since DH actually wants to attend Thanksgiving with his relatives, since it's at his sisters this year. I, however, hate the people and would feel awful that my uncle and father had no where to go.

So, DH is mad that I refuse to abandon the 2 relatives that see us every year for his 90 relatives that treat me like crap.

I'm torn because I don't want him to be upset, but wtheck am I supposed to do? I'm not dividing a holiday when I have 2 toddlers to tote around.

 

[newchickenfamily]

The holidays sure are a mixed bag. Thankfully my family and extended family are all sane and fairly normal.

I can really see how depression can close in on people around this time of year.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

DH and I made a deal when we married that we would swap off relatives one year tday with his christmas at mine and next year vice versa.

But, my parents both passed and one sister moved and one sister in addiction we get stuck with his every holiday.

I know I am lucky. And, I do it because it is important to have extended family for my kids' sake......

 

[jnjross]

yeah this year it seems like our family is going to be in a cold war for the holidays, someone in the family spends all their money on their friends (not family) but thinks we (family) should be spend our money with/on them aqnd Their friends!

we buy stuff from them all the time to "help" them, paying more than fair value, then help them for free, and they had the nerve to insinuate that we were stealing from them! when they just ripped us off on a set of wheels they lied about what they came off of and that they would fit our atv they where rtv not atv rims now we're stuck with them!

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Yikes! Seems like the majority of these issues come from extended family (who aren't the person we married). It can be annoying to wake up and realize that when you marry someone, you marry their whole family, too (in a sense, anyway). This becomes glaringly obvious around the holidays.

I don't like holidays at extended family on my dad's side because our relatives are very weird (not a lot of marbles rolling around upstairs and all that). I think my dad and my grandpa are basically the only normal ones in that bunch, and my dad moved far away from them all, but we see them at the holidays.

They do bizarro and disgusting things like make a family's worth of potato salad in a bathtub (because they didn't have a big enough dish) and then tell everyone about it later, thinking they were very clever to have thought of such a bright solution. (I am very careful about inspecting what I eat at their houses!) I got an opened and obviously used bottle of olive oil from one of them as part of a wedding shower gift (for my spice cupboard). All of them mooch of my grandpa, who does have money, but is too old and lonely to turn them away. He has loans and second and third mortgages in his name for them on cars and houses; they have basically destroyed his credit. Being around these people grates on my nerves.

 

[jbowyer01]

Yep I agree holidays are stressful and for the most part I hate them. I wont go into the soap opera of both mine an DH's families so instead I try really hard to concentrate on spending the time with my DH, son and daughter. It is hard and yea there are many moments of crying but I shake it off and make myself find one moment that I know will make me happy such as midnight mass, looking for the northern star, or watching my kids smile because I made their favorite sugar cookies that only get made at christmas. I refuse to let family or financially situations steal everything wonderful about the holidays from me.

 

[gumpsgirl]

Just try to keep your head up and keep the holidays fun for your kids. That's really all you can do in a situation like this. Remember that the holidays only come once a year and grin and bare it! We are all here for you when you need us.