Note: The bold is Beakers comments as I read..
'Twas the night before Christmas, ** Like it is now!!** when all through the house ,Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; **We have Mice? I don't like Mice**
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, **We don't have a chimbley** In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; * What is a sugar plum? Did I ever have one? I dont think I dreamed of one if I don't know what it is**
And mamma in her 'kerchief, **ACHOO** and I in my cap, ** I am in MY cap- but you aren't in a kerchief** Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, ** are they hibanating like bears?**
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. ** was he jumpin on the bed? Jumpin on the bed is fun!!**
Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. **Uh oh, he's in TROUBLE for tearing the shutters. What is sash? Did it make his tummy hurt and that's why he threw it up?**
The moon on the breast ** You said a bad word** of the new-fallen snow, Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, ** SANTA CLAUS!!!*** But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers ** I thought they was reindeers?** they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" ** No, santa, come back!!**
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, ** HUH?**
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. *** TOYS !!!!***
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof , The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. ** Do reindeers poop on the roof? Cause if they do, and it slides off, it could land on your head **
As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. ** We don't HAVE a chimbley**
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; **uh oh, he needs a baff*
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, *** TOYS !!!!*** And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! ** he has merry pimples? ** His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! **Cherries are yummy**
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; ** Like Mr Bizzy's beard!!**
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; ** smoking is bad**
He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly. ** Was it grape jelly, or redberry jelly?**
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, ** Oh, like YOU Miss Bizzy!!** And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; * Did he hurt his neck when it twisted?**
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, ** ohh, you said another bad word**
And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; ** He's magic like Mary Poppins!!**
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. ** Isn't a thistle prickly?**
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!